Obama Admin Sitting on Investigation Report that Favors Toyota | Main | Overnight Open Thread
July 31, 2010

Miguel Batista, Full Time Pitcher For Washington Nationals, Part Time Super Genius

Phenom pitcher Stephen Strasburg is the only reason people still have a vague sense the Washington Nationals are actually a major league team. The games he starts routinely triple or quadruple the Nats regular attendance. So when he was replaced on Tuesday without any warning because of shoulder stiffness his replacement Miguel Batista was booed by his home team 'fans' before he even threw a single pitch.

Batista wound up pitching the well and the Nats won the game but afterward he said he understood the reaction of the fans.

"Imagine if you go to see Miss Universe, then you end up having Miss Iowa, you might get those kind of boos," Batista said.

And apt comparison and kind of funny. Until Batista started getting questions about it and realized he may have insulted her. That's where the super genius part comes in.

The Washington Post's Nationals beat reporter Adam Kilgore caught up with Batista on Wednesday and asked him if he'd ever seen a picture of Miss Iowa.

"You mean Katherine Connors?" Batista told Kilgore. "Yeah, she's gorgeous. Gorgeous.

"People started booing me, and they hadn't seen me throw a pitch yet. It's like you hear Miss Iowa, and you say, 'Iowa?' And then you see her up close and you say, 'Wow, she's gorgeous.' "

To make sure he earns Miss Connors' forgiveness, Batista also sent her flowers and said he hopes they arrive on Wednesday.

See that? Insult a beauty queen and use that as an in to meet her.

And it worked.

The Nats had Connors come to DC last night to throw out the first pitch and Batista has been invited to be a judge at the next Miss Iowa pageant.

Super genius.

Let me just say, I know a lot of you realized there was a new post here at the HQ and expected it to be from Ace (don't laugh (yet), I'm doing a bit here). When you found out it was me, you were no doubt disappointed. It's like winning a contest where you're told you'll meet Megyn Kelly (wearing the hot librarian glasses) and it turns out they subbed in Judy Greer.

Wait, that's insulting to Judy Greer. Can someone get me an address so I can send her flowers and a phone number so I can call an apologize?

Oh and the obligatory Miss Iowa photo....


Miguel Batista...Real Man of Genius.

digg this
posted by DrewM. at 12:50 PM

| Access Comments

Recent Comments
Village Idiot's Apprentice [/s] [/b] [/i]: "Is it possible to impeach former Secretary of Stat ..."

Jean: "Thenceforth, the Hunter of Biden ventured forth un ..."

torabora : "They better start lying about Shit For Brains appr ..."

[/i][/s][/b][/u]blaster: "[i]369 Two people won the $1B Mega Millions. Check ..."

Village Idiot's Apprentice [/s] [/b] [/i]: "Salty!!!! ..."

Justsayin': " Plus even that ginger twat, Traitor Roberts, migh ..."

NaCly Dog: "Good morning! Let's smile & be happy & strike ..."

m: "367 If nothing else this group has a very large li ..."

Modern Day Gospel : " Whereupon Joe of the Biden sayeth to the assembl ..."

Captain Hate Won't Forget Ashli Babbitt : "[i]Concur. If you learn anything at all from our L ..."

Deep State 910: "I just saw the Bernie memes and am busy laughing m ..."

LeftCoast Dawg: "285 George Soros is 90 and alive and kicking. Pos ..."

Recent Entries

Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64