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May 24, 2010

Cool Facts About Will Folks

Will Folks doesn't rise with the dawn. The dawn rises with Will Folks.

Popcorn is sold in four sizes: Small, Medium, Jumbo, and Will Folks' Dick.

Last night Will Folks shot an elephant in his pajamas. What it was doing with in his pajamas he won't say! Oh, right, yes he will: The elephant was blowing him. Blowing him, would be the correct answer.

Will Folks invented half of the spells in Dungeons & Dragons, including the hitherto-secret 9th level spell, I'm Nailing Your Sister Upstairs While You Faggits Are Playing D&D.

Will Folks' car has a bumper sticker reading My Other Car Is Nikki Haley's Car and By "Car" I Mean Vagina. But Ask Me No More.

Will Folks is a ninja, and by a ninja, I mean 1) he's a mammal 2) his purpose is to flip out and kill people and 3) he shoots straight because the people of South Carolina are entitled to a heroic protector with a shotgun for a dick.

Will Folks' right hand has tattoos spelling out "Love" and his left hand has tattoos spelling out "Amor," because he kills motherfuckers in Spanish, too.

Will Folks once date-raped Satan.


(Oh, that second joke is a Drew Carey one.)


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posted by Ace at 08:55 PM

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