Finally: Dino Rossi Announces He Will Run Against Patty "Dum-Dum" Murray For WA Senate | Main | Overnight Open Thread
May 24, 2010

Cool Facts About Will Folks

Will Folks doesn't rise with the dawn. The dawn rises with Will Folks.

Popcorn is sold in four sizes: Small, Medium, Jumbo, and Will Folks' Dick.

Last night Will Folks shot an elephant in his pajamas. What it was doing with in his pajamas he won't say! Oh, right, yes he will: The elephant was blowing him. Blowing him, would be the correct answer.

Will Folks invented half of the spells in Dungeons & Dragons, including the hitherto-secret 9th level spell, I'm Nailing Your Sister Upstairs While You Faggits Are Playing D&D.

Will Folks' car has a bumper sticker reading My Other Car Is Nikki Haley's Car and By "Car" I Mean Vagina. But Ask Me No More.

Will Folks is a ninja, and by a ninja, I mean 1) he's a mammal 2) his purpose is to flip out and kill people and 3) he shoots straight because the people of South Carolina are entitled to a heroic protector with a shotgun for a dick.

Will Folks' right hand has tattoos spelling out "Love" and his left hand has tattoos spelling out "Amor," because he kills motherfuckers in Spanish, too.

Will Folks once date-raped Satan.


(Oh, that second joke is a Drew Carey one.)


digg this
posted by Ace at 08:55 PM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Booking Agent, Aero Pinochet: "Dear Santa - This year, I've been very good, for s ..."

Bear with Assymetrical Balls: "I still have my Charlie Brown Christmas LP from wh ..."

Miklos, not from Fusion anything: "Oh Lord. Now Palp has another fundraising oppor ..."

Cicero (@cicero): "We have all these eucalyptus trees in CA through t ..."

JAS: "OK shitheads. Here is the story of eucalyptus in ..."

no good deed : "I like the "they say" it translates to Caucasian. ..."

logprof: "Wow, a Herman Cain sighting. ..."

Northernlurker : "Stop with the mariaci music. ..."

ALH: "The news showed film of the California wild fires. ..."

Blanco Basura - It's OK, I'm with the banned: "[i]Middlin'. How are you?[/i]Sick, but better the ..."

Cicero (@cicero): "Is this the ONT? Like Shep Smith's sexuality, the ..."

logprof: "Mark Knopfler himself has self edited that song. S ..."

Recent Entries
Search


MuNuvians
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
News/Chat
Archives
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64