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August 22, 2009

Overnight Open Thread (Mætenloch)

Good evening all morons and moronettes. It's Saturday night so throw some meat on the fire, pour some whiskey, and prepare to speak of manly things.

Item #1: Charles Bronson Was a Man Part XIV
Everyone knows that Charles Bronson had the manliness of three ordinary manly men. He accumulated it while growing up in abject poverty in Pennsylvania. His family was so poor that he was forced to wear the hand-me-down dress of an older sister to school which will toughen you up fast. But then his father died when he was 10 and he had to start working in the local coal mine making $1 for each ton of coal he dug out. When WWII came he joined the Army Air Force and flew bombing missions over Japan in a B-29.

Later even the Japanese came to respect his sheer masculinity. This is a commercial from 1970 for the cologne, Mandom!. Really what else would you expect Bronson to wear? And his manly badassery hadn't even peaked yet - Death Wish was still four years in the future. So toss your shirt, slather on some Mandom, shoot some stuff and maybe you can be one tenth a Bronson. And yes the ISO standard for manliness is measured in Bronsons.

Item #2: 10 Curse Words You Don't Know
Okay a lot of these you will know, but I think it's time we expanded the moron verbal palette as it were. There are many, many curse words in English that have fallen from use over the years and these really ought to be brought back to their rightful place of shame. Plus we can always plunder other languages for the best of their expletives. Personally I enjoy the Norwegian ones since they have a nice bite to them and sound like they should be curse words. And for the English ones, I will point you all to the 1811 Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue. That is if you have bawbels for it, you bunch of proud pommel-lovin arse rompers. And that applies to all you shanker-ridden swiving wagtails as well.

Update: (genghis of Spades) Well gorble my smackers you bunch of gimdibblers. Sorry you've had to suffer through this past week in a kitteh-free zone, but that'll all change on Monday. Unless he hacks my computer again, shutting me down for another week.

Meanwhile, to reinforce Maet's point, whatever it was, while the profanity of the icebacks is quaint and charming, it's just a matter of time before it becomes a dead language, much like Latin and C++, only to be studied in the ivy-covered halls of academia and by warrior-monks at the monasteries of ancient Redmond (where they painstakingly illuminate code by hand).

A more practical list of profanity you may wish to study and learn is Spanish for when the Mexican Empire finally decides it's had enough of our b.s. and moves north to invade and enslave us.

In the meantime, you should probably brush up on your pseudo-profanity, otherwise known as a minced oath. For study purposes just watch "Napolean Dynamite" repeatedly because, gosh darn-it, it's coming to a blog near you. Very very soon.

Original kitteh-free post resumes below.


Tonight's post brought to you by PFC Presley:

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Notice: Posted by permission of AceCorp LLC. Please e-mail overnight open thread tips to maetenloch at gmail. Otherwise send tips to Ace.

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