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July 01, 2009

Overnight Open Thread – The End of the Gender Wars: Men Capitulate (genghis)

(To our female readers/overlordesses, please allow me to address the troops one more time before we quit the field and schedule our manicures)

Men: It’s been an honor to serve alongside you in this futile and stupid cause, but now comes the time in which we need to face facts. The following is the message Central Command sent out to opposing forces this evening:

Now, under the terms we agreed to you will be able to retain a single multi-purpose tool, such as a Leatherman, provided it has 57 or fewer different functions. However, our opposition has signaled that any remaining opposition to their rule will be dealt with severely via “reeducation camps” which have been in place for some time in areas they’d already had control over. The few who escaped had mostly gone mad but some of the phrases we kept hearing again and again involved “figure skating” and “antiquing.” It was a mercy to them that we simply put a bullet through their heads in most cases.

A couple more examples of how we lost this war below the fold.

Of course we never had the media on our side as illustrated by this story regarding our near ape-like skills regarding the hammering of nails.

And even when things got desperate and our partisans behind enemy lines had to resort to stealing in order to survive, they would often be stopped by the state police and asked to do such things as produce the meat from within (their) pants. It didn’t help that many in the larger cities had gone over to the enemy’s side.

So I thank our new overlordesses for giving me this one last chance to address you men and now ask that you show your allegiance to this new order by saluting our new national symbol:

Note: The new national anthem hasn’t been decided upon yet and it would be best for you if you helped suggest one.

Notice: Posted by permission of AceCorp LLC. Please e-mail overnight open thread tips to xgenghisx@gmail.com. Otherwise send tips to Ace.

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posted by xgenghisx at 09:46 PM

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