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January 28, 2009

The Unkindest Tort

You're in a plane that hits a flock of geese over the most populated city in the United States. Against all odds, your pilot keeps the plane under control and does what no other commercial airline pilot has ever successfully done. You and everyone on that plane with you survives the ordeal.

What's your response? Gratitude to the pilot and the airline who hired him? A rethinking of life's priorities?

Nah.

If you're Joe Hart, it's lawsuit time!

Joe Hart, a salesman from Charlotte who suffered a bloody nose and bruises, says he would like to be made whole for the incident.

Its too soon after the accident to determine what emotional distress he has suffered, he says.

...In addition to recovering losses, Hart says he's concerned about having trouble flying. He's flown on six planes since the accident, and each flight has gotten "progressively more difficult."

He says he was tense, sweated and "felt every bit of turbulence" on a Los Angeles-to-Philadelphia flight last week, though it wasn't that turbulent a flight.

Hart says he has talked to a lawyer in North Carolina but hasnt decided whether to take any legal action.

I want to see how things play out with US Airways, he says. Im hopeful US Airways understands the significance of the incident.

The significance of the incident? The significance of the incident, you ungrateful doofus, is that you and everyone on that plane is alive. I'm not sure what disgusts me more - that Joe Hart sees his brush with death as nothing more than the opportunity for a payout, or the fact that some catfish-like law firm is willing to actually take his case.

What holy bleeding hell is wrong with these people? Are they going to argue that the airline has liability because they did not use reasonable care in avoiding a flock of geese that randomly flew in front of an airplane?

I agree with Rachel Lucas on this one. If you want to sue someone, sue the geese who flew in front of that plane.

Heh - From the comments:

I'm channeling the geese right now... They're speaking through me...

"Honk! Honk!", you say? The big airplane ran into you? It didn't even try to turn?

Ladies and gentlemen! Justice must be done! And I must receive 20 percent!

Posted by: John Edwards at January 28, 2009 10:10 AM (7dXKM)

You morons crack me up.


digg this
posted by Slublog at 09:18 AM

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