Sponsored Content
« Liveblogging the Event! | Main | Oil Falls Below $34 Per Barrel, Because God Himself Hath Willed It To Be So »
January 20, 2009

My Dick Just Grew and Inch and a Half

Don't ask me how. I just woke up and it was like I was some kind of Greek mythological creature with the body of Ace and the penis of an averagely-endowed man.

Awesome. Just breathtaking, really. Today is truly a little brighter, a little more hopeful than the day before. And today has a bigger dick than yesterday.

Thanks, Obama!


digg this
posted by A New Ace for a New Era at 11:25 AM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
Weasel: "Posted by: Scuba_Dude at March 26, 2023 08:26 PM ( ..."

Notorious BFD: "This may have been asked, Weasel. Are there plans ..."

MkY: "My pleasure, my family is considering getting a Ga ..."

Weasel: "Posted by: RI Red at March 26, 2023 08:24 PM (WpZi ..."

Scuba_Dude: "157 Posted by: Weasel at March 26, 2023 08:20 PM ..."

Thomas Paine: "I'm trying to figure out how they are able to hold ..."

Draki: "Thanks for the details on the meetup going to try ..."

Scuba_Dude: "154 Posted by: Weasel at March 26, 2023 08:19 PM ..."

[/b][/s][/i][/u]Oddbob: "[i]The idiots you spoke off sounds like people you ..."

RI Red: "Oddbob and Weasel - good news! I'm going to re-wri ..."

Weasel: "Posted by: Ben Had at March 26, 2023 08:23 PM (oft ..."

nurse ratched : "Now imagine if you had to shoot a rifle just after ..."

Recent Entries
Gun Thread: End of March Edition!
Food Thread: Goat Cheese Is A Breeze, Unless It Makes You Sneeze, Otherwise Please, Give It A Squeeze, It Really Is The Bee's Knees!
First-World Problems...
Where Is Galileo When We Need Him? Stop The Pendulum!
Sunday Morning Book Thread - 03-26-2023 ["Perfessor" Squirrel]
EMT 3/26/23
Daily Tech News 26 March 2023
Saturday Overnight Open Thread (3/25/23)
Saturday Evening Movie Thread [moviegique]: A Man For All Seasons
Weekend Hobby, Crafts and Bodging Thread
Search


Polls! Polls! Polls!

Federal Review
Real Clear Politics
Rasmussen Reports
Gallup
Zogby
Sabato/Crystal Ball
Frequently Asked Questions

What is the Deal with the Cowbell?
Why is the Ace of Spades called "the Death Card"?
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Primary Document: The Audio
Paul Anka Haiku Contest Announcement
Integrity SAT's: Entrance Exam for Paul Anka's Band
AllahPundit's Paul Anka 45's Collection
AnkaPundit: Paul Anka Takes Over the Site for a Weekend (Continues through to Monday's postings)
George Bush Slices Don Rumsfeld Like an F*ckin' Hammer
Top Top Tens

Democratic Forays into Erotica
New Shows On Gore's DNC/MTV Network
Nicknames for Potatoes, By People Who Really Hate Potatoes
Star Wars Euphemisms for Self-Abuse
Signs You're at an Iraqi "Wedding Party"
Signs Your Clown Has Gone Bad
Signs That You, Geroge Michael, Should Probably Just Give It Up

Signs of Hip-Hop Influence on John Kerry
NYT Headlines Spinning Bush's Jobs Boom
Things People Are More Likely to Say Than "Did You Hear What Al Franken Said Yesterday?"
Signs that Paul Krugman Has Lost His Frickin' Mind
All-Time Best NBA Players, According to Senator Robert Byrd
Other Bad Things About the Jews, According to the Koran
Signs That David Letterman Just Doesn't Care Anymore
Examples of Bob Kerrey's Insufferable Racial Jackassery
Signs Andy Rooney Is Going Senile
Other Judgments Dick Clarke Made About Condi Rice Based on Her Appearance
Collective Names for Groups of People
John Kerry's Other Vietnam Super-Pets
Cool Things About the XM8 Assault Rifle
Media-Approved Facts About the Democrat Spy
Changes to Make Christianity More "Inclusive"
Secret John Kerry Senatorial Accomplishments
John Edwards Campaign Excuses
John Kerry Pick-Up Lines
Changes Liberal Senator George Michell Will Make at Disney
Torments in Dog-Hell
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Syndicate this site (XML)

Powered by
Movable Type 2.64