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August 13, 2008

Ah, Yes: Georgian War Trutherism

Robert Scheer, better known as the super-genius mega-brained crimefighter "Dr. Cranium," has put it all together:

Is it possible that this time the October surprise was tried in August, and that the garbage issue of brave little Georgia struggling for its survival from the grasp of the Russian bear was stoked to influence the U.S. presidential election?

Before you dismiss that possibility, consider the role of one Randy Scheunemann, for four years a paid lobbyist for the Georgian government, ending his official lobbying connection only in March, months after he became Republican presidential candidate Sen. John McCain's senior foreign policy adviser.

Previously, Scheunemann was best known as one of the neoconservatives who engineered the war in Iraq when he was a director of the Project for a New American Century. It was Scheunemann who, after working on the McCain 2000 presidential campaign, headed the Committee for the Liberation of Iraq, which championed the U.S. Iraq invasion.

There are telltale signs that he played a similar role in the recent Georgia flare-up. How else to explain the folly of his close friend and former employer, Georgian President Mikhail Saakashvili, in ordering an invasion of the breakaway region of South Ossetia, which clearly was expected to produce a Russian counter-reaction. It is inconceivable that Saakashvili would have triggered this dangerous escalation without some assurance from influential Americans he trusted, like Scheunemann, that the United States would have his back. Scheunemann long guided McCain in these matters, even before he was officially running foreign policy for McCain's presidential campaign.

Scheunemann is at the center of the neoconservative cabal that has come to dominate the Republican candidate's foreign policy stance in a replay of the run-up to the war against Iraq. These folks are always looking for a foreign enemy on which to base a new Cold War, and with the collapse of Saddam Hussein's regime, it was Putin's Russia that came increasingly to fit the bill.

What? Russia is a convenient patsy for an enemy in our new Cold War?

Um... who the fuck was the enemy in the old Cold War? Fucking Trinidad-Tobago?

Rather than suggesting we're seeking out a "new" enemy in a "new" Cold War, wouldn't it be rather more sensible to suggest that perhaps the last one didn't quite end, but merely receded for 10 years?

Incidentally -- the left has been screaming that with the end of the Cold War, we cringey/stupid conservatives have been all out of sorts without an enemy, and so we made the Islamofascists, Al Qaeda, and Saddam our "new Soviet Union," just to sublimate all that repressed homosexual energy we have into some more constructive destructive channel.

Now this silly-ass sucker of cock is claiming that we made Saddam the New Russia to avoid poking each other in the squeakhole, and now that Saddam is gone, we're making Russia the New Saddam. What?

Yes, it sounds diabolical, but that may be the most accurate way to assess the designs of the McCain campaign in matters of war and peace.

Or not.

There is every indication that the candidate's demonization of Putin is an even grander plan than the previous use of Hussein to fuel American militarism with the fearsome enemy that it desperately needs.

"Demonization of Putin"? You mean the guy murdering journalists by the dozen? The guy who kills dissidents in London? The guy shelling civilian cities?

We're "demonizing" him?

And -- I'm sorry, again I have to say you already played this "create a new enemy card" in claiming we were "demonizing Al Qaeda and Saddam "Sovereign State" Hussein. Does the tired cant ever get refreshed or reworked?

Finally, Sucker of Cock, we actually already have all the fearsome enemies we could want right now.

How fucking absurd do you have to be that with Iran about to get the bomb, North Korea building bombs, and Al Qaeda still trying to buy one from either of the forgoing (or even the "demonized" Russia!), we're out here craving a fearsome enemy?

...

Instead of quoting, let me digest the tired cant: Obama is offering a "measured" and nuanced response by confirming Russia's expansion of empire; the US spends more on the military than any other nation.

Since we're just chucking out leftoid Fun Facts helter-skelter, let's just throw in George Washington used to grow hemp on his farm, didjaknowthatdidjaknowthat?! while we're fucking at it.

Hmmm... Russian tanks roll into Georgia, Josef Stalin's home country, taking over a peaceful democratic Eastern European country, with a murderous and expansionist dictator at the cockpit.

Gee, I must be some sort of crazy person to have thought of the "old" Soviet Union and Joseph Stalin

McCain has condemned a "revanchist Russia" that should once again be contained. Although Putin has been the enormously popular elected leader of post-Communist Russia, it is assumed that imperialism is always lurking, not only in his DNA but in that of the Russian people.

How convenient to forget that Stalin was a Georgian...

Um, I didn't. No one did.

Remembering Joseph Stalin was a Georgian is not a difficult trick, Dr. Cranium.

... and indeed if Russian troops had occupied the threatened Georgian town of Gori, they would have found a museum still honoring their local boy, who made good by seizing control of the Russian revolution. Indeed five Russian bombs were allegedly dropped on Gori's Stalin Square on Tuesday.

I'm sorry-- I thought you were writing a column, not rattling off irrelevancies. But since we're doing that now, I like strawberries but their texture reminds me of armpit-bumps after a girl shaves. Ugh.

Your turn.

Is this sucker of cock claiming that the presence of a Joe Stalin exhibit in a museum establishes Russia's legal right to conquest? That his wax figurine serves as a flag demarcating legally-annexable Russian territory?

It should also be mentioned that the post-Communist Georgians have imperial designs on South Ossetia and Abkhaza...

Georgia has imperial designs on Georgia itself. Who knew.

In related news, George Bush dreamed covetously of conquering the Free City of Boise, Idaho, and from that staging area, going on to capture the fractious Bandit Empires of Wyoming and Nebraska...

Listen to him spit out "post-communist" like an insult. Read "splitter," "traitor," "quitter."

For McCain to so fervently embrace Scheunemann's neoconservative line of demonizing Russia in the interest of appearing tough during an election is a reminder that a senator can be old and yet wildly irresponsible.

Let's be clear about what this sucker of cock just said: It is wrong for Georgia to expect that it can govern Georgian lands without risking a Soviet, ahem, Russian invasion; that to expect its own country to be free of foreign armies' interference is, I shit you not, an "imperial design."

Once a lefty Stalinist toe-sucker, always a lefty Stalinist toe-sucker. Russia's not the one with imperial designs here; oh dear me, perish the thought! Sure, their armies are rolling into another sovereign country, but it's the latter country that actually has "imperial designs" on keeping its own fucking territory.

According to Dr. Cranium and his ilk, Russia never invades or conquers other countries for sport and empire. Oh my, no.

But it does maintain of list of countries it might have to liberate with truth and tanks (but mostly tanks) and reserves the right to do so at times of its convenience.

Yeah, About That:

Haven't these dipshits spent the last 2 years or so talking about how much of a despicable thug Putin is and how stupid Bush has been to being suckered in by this evil man. Now he's being "demonized"?

Indeed. Scheer wants a re-do on the whole "look into the soul" thing. Now he thinks Bush had it exactly right.

That's from buzzion.

A Double-Helping of Retard:

Meanwhile, McCain himself was sent out to pose in front of working oil rigs, to testify to his thirst for pulling more black gold from the earth. The message couldn't be plainer: See that itty-bitty, little tire gauge? If you vote for Obama, that's how big your penis is. If you vote for McCain, on the other hand, your penis is as big as this rig, thrusting its gigantic shaft in and out of the ground! Real men think keeping your tires inflated is for weenies.

There may not be a sign tacked to a bulletin board at McCain headquarters reading, "It's the sexual insecurity, stupid," but McCain's team of operatives, many schooled at Karl Rove's knee, know just what to do when an opportunity presents itself. They've been playing this tune for so long, they don't need to look at the sheet music: Our guy is a real man, their guy is a sissy, rinse, repeat.

...

But mostly, it's Republicans who have been expert at setting up their rigs to drill deep into the male voter's lizard brain, down to where sexual insecurity resides. This is where they draw the line connecting the voter's own worries to the Democratic candidate. This is how they turn fear into contempt and hostility, the same psychological move that makes some men react to an advance from another man – or even the sight of an effeminate man – with hatred and violence. See that Democrat over there? He's a little prissy, isn't he? Kind of girly. And if you vote for him, what are people going to think about you?

The guy is claiming we're the ones hung up on sexual insecurity, but meanwhile he's the one who can't walk three steps without tripping over an imaginary cock, and and can't help fretting about straight men's reactions if he grabs their balls.

Projection -- it's not just a river in Egypt.

I got it from Hot Air so you can go over there to read the rest of this subatomic psychokinetic fissionist's musings on why you should let him just cup your jock-knockers, just to see how you like it.

Like, just for a second, really. He won't tell.

And if you don't want him to touch you in your no-no special place -- well, that must mean you have "imperial designs" on your own dick.

It's Not Stupid Until It's Certified as Olbermann-Stupid: And now it has been -- the Georgia Truth theory thing, I mean, not wanting to tickle your trouser-tits.

Thanks to eddiebear.


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posted by Ace at 10:25 PM

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