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June 06, 2008

That Bear-Suit Guy: Stealth Mode! Action Movie Stunts!

The new(ish) video is at the end.

If you don't know who Troy Hurtubise is, he's a guy who's spent much of his adult life designing "anti-Grizzly armor," so he can, I guess, fight Grizzlies in hand-to-hand combat, like God intended.

He's been continually refining this armor, which mostly seems to be parts cobbled together from football and hockey pads. In the below clip, he tests the armor against a variety of tactics Grizzlies are known to employ, such as running people while driving pick-up trucks.

Silly music added by uploader.

So, he says he was asked by many special forces troops serving in Iraq and Afghanistan to use his talents designing anti-bear armor to create military armor. Because bears usually attack with IEDs, of course. So he figures his plastic hockey armor (which he says is partly influenced by Star Wars and the video game Halo) will do the trick.

Now, I don't know if he's a huckster looking for a buck or a guy who genuinely wants to help the troops any way he can. I think I lean towards the latter. But either way, he's goofy.

What do our troops need most of all? Well, anti-bear spray mounted on their forearms and a world clock mounted on their codpiece.

His estimate of the amount of hand-to-hand combat modern soldiers experience seems rather on the high side.

I really think he believes that Al Qaeda recruits most of its fighters from the ranks of bears. And also -- badgers.

Anyway, here's the new video, which is almost a year old, but it's new to me. Here Troy demonstrates the "stealth" capabilities of the armor, which are... Well, they seem to rely upon him hiding in improbable places and having enemy troops walk slowly by him at precisely the right place.

I really think he's out-crazied himself here. Not only does he, playing the role of a special forces soldier, carry two pistols rather than an assault rifle for some reason, but enemy troops seem to be chiefly armed with... throwing knives.

Skip ahead to 2:45 to see him play out his absurd action fantasy. The first part of the vid is him making a pitch for you to send him a dollar each, for a raffle with his "Trojan armor" as the prize. But you missed that; the raffle was in September.

Good Heavens. That's worse almost as bad as a Steven Seagal movie.

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posted by Ace at 07:20 PM

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