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June 03, 2008

Pussy Comitatus: DUmmies Want to Form Citizens' Arrest Committees to Start Rounding Us Up

The guys who got beaten up by the Dungeons & Dragons club are going to arrest me?

Hey, I was Captain of the Dungeons & Dragons club. Bring it on.


Form a team. We need teams in California, Texas, New York, and Washington, D.C., among other places. Your mission is to locate a war criminal from the list above in a public place, detain them, handcuff them, phone the police, read the criminal their rights and the charges against them, ask them if they have anything to say in response, videotape the arrest and post it online. Your team should include one or more people who can produce an excellent video and be extremely fast in editing and posting it online. Your team should include people capable of physically detaining your war criminal. Your team should ideally include a lawyer. And, of course, people who can read the charges and question the suspect. Everyone on your team should be able to keep a secret while you're planning your arrest.

I suggest they begin with Dick Cheney. I hear he'll be in a fairly isolated location soon. You know, on a hunting trip.

Also from Moonbattery: PETA proposes "Lobster Empathy Centers," to teach you empathy for large aquatic insects that feed on sea worms and fish-shit.

The last thought every lobster has as it realizes it's caught in a trap is "Damnit, and I had such a good thing going on here, too."

Thanks to Penfold.


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posted by Ace at 06:27 PM

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