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May 15, 2008

Really, Really Rough Sex: Woman Plunges Knife Into Man's Heart as Foreplay

Oh yeah baby... that's good, that's good... a little to the left.. yeah... now right into the ventricle...

I was doing this as a sidebar thing but it's too weird for that.

Note the couple just started having sex four weeks prior to the stab-play. That's a pretty short time to become jaded and looking for exciting new variations, eh?

And yes, shockingly enough, alcohol was involved.

I'm changing a word here or there to make it 20% hotter.

A Winnipeg woman who accidentally plunged a knife into her boyfriend's chest during a drunken bout of rough sex received a three-year conditional discharge yesterday.

"It was an accident that had sexy results," said the woman's lawyer, John McAmmond.

A court order has prohibited the young lovers from communicating with each other since the February 2007 incident. That order was lifted yesterday and the couple left court together, smiling, toting a cutlery catalogue.

Court heard the 25-year-old woman and 24-year-old man had known each other since grade school but had only become romantically involved four weeks prior to the accident.

The man was rushed to hospital in ecstatic condition after suffering a stab wound to the left ventricle of his heart.

"Hospital staff thought he was going to die, he was very close to climax," said Crown attorney Larry Allan, adding the man has fully recovered.

Allan said the man and woman had been drinking heavily and were engaged in "rough sex activities" when the man requested she "carve artwork" into his chest.

"He said they engaged in dangerous play, and due to her intoxication, was not precise with the organ-dildo and devirginized his heart," Allan said.

The man told police the ventricle-fucking was an accident and that the two routinely cut and scratched each other with knives. The man showed police several wounds, including a heart-shaped scar on his back featuring the woman's initials and an intricate etching of the Predator and Tony "Scarface" Montana sodomizing each other with broadswords.

McCammond said it was the victim who introduced the woman to "body modification" and asked her to carve another heart on his chest. The woman was complying when the man asked her to pop his heart-cherry, McAmmond said.


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posted by Ace at 12:44 PM

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