Another Friend of Barack Obama (FOBO): A Former PLO Operative | Main | Joanie Loves Psychotropic Medications
April 10, 2008

And Yet Another Shock Predictable Cliche: Lindsey Lohan Will Appear Nude (Wow!) in Indie Movie (How Unexpected!) To Prove She's a "Serious Actress" (Ahem)

The trouble with all child stars is that they're children, but like all children want adults to think of them as adults, and engage in the same childish behavior to convince adults of that. Which only makes them appear even more callow.

The vanity project I Know Who Killed Me was just an idiotic attempt to prove she was "adult" (she plays a bad-girl stripper!) and a "serious actress" (she plays a dual role, also playing a good-girl prodigy!).

So now we're at nudity. I don't mind looking at her nude, but honestly, she's never going to recapture that bloom of sexual ripeness she had in Mean Girls.

No, wait, that wasn't it. What's the one I mean? Oh yeah, The Parent Trap.

No, that was awful. I meant Mean Girls. But seriously, she'd better get her crap under control because she's got the mind of Dakota Fanning running around in what is fast becoming the body of Carol Channing.

The girl is modestly and only modestly talented at light comedy but can't accept that. Next stop: A serious, dramatic role in a high-budget, "quality" porno. We'll know it's a serious role, though, because she'll play three roles, like Peter Sellars did in Dr. Strangelove. Except the roles will be called Oral, Vaginal, and Anal.

That'll learn us.

Thanks to Mike.


digg this
posted by Ace at 05:00 PM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
rickb223 [/s][/b][/i][/u]: "He just hired a press a Press Secretary that was a ..."

Don Q.: "Posted by: torquewrench at July 25, 2017 03:46 PM ..."

: Lord of the Harry Potter Star Trek Wars: "We've got the White House, the Senate, and the Hou ..."

Bernie Sanders Primary Voter: " Betrayal is our greatest challenge to overcome. O ..."

Marybeth: "has Collins looked in a mirror lately? her Katheri ..."

torquewrench: ""When officers realized he was throwing clothes ou ..."

FenelonSpoke: "Posted by: Slippery Slope Salesman at July 25, 201 ..."

gNewt: "He just hired a press a Press Secretary that was a ..."

Roy: " I had hoped the President Obama would be good at ..."

Methos: "My guess is that couldn't be done because it would ..."

Hikaru: "414 My guess is that couldn't be done because it w ..."

Marcus T: "We really liked Vermont also. In general very libe ..."

Recent Entries
Search


MuNuvians
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
News/Chat
Archives
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64