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April 08, 2008

Politico's Top Fifty Political Moments

Nutrition-free fun for political junkies, pretty much just like Best Week Ever but with ugly people.

Here's a word we need. Preferably from German, because they're good at just putting lots of words together to make a new word.

The meaning of the word is thus: "The somewhat embarrassing, inexplicable but real thrill of reading crap we already knew and in fact have known for years and years." Sort of like nostalgia, but only applied to abstract and mostly useless detritus of data.

Can anyone else explain why so many of us watch Shark Week every year? Do we really need to be told that the "Whale Shark," despite the name, is not in fact a whale but is the only shark which eats a whale-like diet? And is the largest known living shark or fish?

Yes, we do have to hear that again, over and over again. Men love watching these sorts of shows with girlfriends because we get to show off our accumulated store of Man Lore and preview each Fun Fact before it actually appears on screen. We've seen this shit so many times before we know exactly when we'll be informed, for the thirtieth time, that female polar bears must vigilantly avoid males because the males are cannibals and will eat her young if allowed to.

Why is this so pleasing? I don't know. People always talk about the thrill of "new learning," but no one ever talks about the real thrill, the thrill of "learning" something old you've already learned six billion times already.

Women are of course just as susceptible to this, though they read Cosmo instead of watching TLC nature documentaries. How many times does a smart, educated woman have to read that one of the keys to reviving a stalled sex life is "variety" and "trying new things" and "having sex in dangerous places"?

Did they really have to read that even the first time?

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posted by Ace at 12:47 PM

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