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April 06, 2008

Schlitz Shall Rise Again [dri]

In what is likely to be viewed as a milestone in the lives of those who have embraced the AoSHQ lifestyle, Pabst Brewing Company this week announced the return of its original formula for Schlitz beer. Once the best selling beer brand in the world and second most popular in the US as late as 1976, Schlitz changed their brewing process in the 70’s with disastrous results. As sales plummeted, Schlitz ran an ad campaign that went over as well as Reverend Wright giving the commencement speech at a West Point graduation ceremony.

It's gone down in popular lore as the Drink Schlitz or I'll Kill You campaign, an example of being too edgy and not too sharp all at once.

Schlitz currently sells around 6,000 cases per year. The brewer hopes that with the return of the traditional formula and the repackaging of the beer in long neck bottles instead of cans, sales will climb to 200,000 cases per year.

One demographic that is likely to view this development as bittersweet is the loose confederation of itinerant outdoorsmen known affectionately as hobos. A hobo spokesman known only as “Upgrade” reminisced: “I am like Obama, I also want change. Anything you can spare.” “A Schlitz pack of cans is the finest beer $2.59 in dimes, nickels, and pennies can buy.” “I will miss the old Schlitz, but I won’t miss those bloggers who tie fishing line and fishing hooks to full cans and slowly reel them into the shadows”.

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posted by xgenghisx at 08:05 PM

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