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March 26, 2008

Ace Of Spades Lifestyle…Wild Kingdom Edition

Pandas aren’t just adorable money making machines for zoos, they are also apparently the greatest wildlife consumers of porn and live sex shows!

Treating China's notoriously undersexed national icon to “panda porn” - or videos of other pandas having sex - is believed to have had some success. Now China has devised a new tactic to help the black-and-white animals to have more babies.

The answer is “sexercise”. Keepers are putting their charges at the Chengdu Panda Breeding and Research Centre in southwestern Sichuan province through a rigorous programme with the aim of improving their mating skills.

…With any luck, they may begin to show an interest in sex, often seen as symptoms of anxiety. The two are then placed in the same pen in the hope that they will have sex.

Pandas with a bit more experience may also be called in to help their more innocent companions. One official said: “We arrange lovemaking between two excellent pandas in front of inexperienced pandas which have never had sex. It does work.”

Let’s see, pandas live alone, are sexually inept and watch porn. In what significant way do they differ from the typical AoS moron? If they had opposable thumbs they be commenting here all day long or more likely, one of them would wind up a co-blogger.

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posted by DrewM. at 11:02 AM

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