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March 25, 2008
"A Rapist's View of the World: Joss Whedon and Firefly"It occurs to me that I may be getting seriously punked on this. But it seems so ludicrous and unhinged that it almost has to be real. No one would ever try to pawn off something this insane as parody; it wouldn't sell. The pilot episode, Serenity, was written and directed by Joss Whedon.... "For no apparent reason," other than the fact he is her superior officer and they begin as soldiers and then later are on a ship, which is of course run by military rules, even if private. The next scene we meet Kaylee, the ship’s mechanic. <- Lookee, lookee, feminist empowerment. In this scene Mal and Jayne are stowing away the cargo they just stole. Kaylee is chatting to them, happily. Jayne asks Mal to get Kaylee to stop being so cheerful. Mal replies, “Sometimes you just wanna duct tape her mouth and dump her in the hold for a month.” Yes, that is an exact quote, “Sometimes you just wanna DUCT TAPE HER MOUTH and DUMP HER IN THE HOLD FOR A MONTH.” Kaylee responds by grinning and giving Mal a kiss on the cheek and saying, “I love my Captain.” Gotta say it: I'll be in my bunk. You, Madame, are a Goof. This has got to be the stupidest fucking essay ever written in the whole of the 'Verse. And when I say that, I'm including the Reavers' poetry, which consists of childishly simple rhyme schemes combined with live-performance hammering of nails through people's heads. She makes only one cogent point: Yes, it is true, Zoe has no personality whatsoever. She seems patterned entirely after Marcy from Peanuts, following Peppermint Patty around and calling her "Sir." It's a cute joke... for a comic strip, and in light doses. If anyone wants to say Zoe is capable fighter and criminal and so forth, sure, she is. But personality-wise she's a one-trick pony. I've heard people cite a lot of lines from Firefly, but I can't think off the top of my head of anyone ever quoting Zoe. She's the second- or third-best at everything, but not the best at anything. Except saying Sir. There's just no sphere in which she stands out, except, I guess, in being generally, though not memorably, competent. No plots are ever built around her because she's just basically a cipher. If it were revealed in a sequel she was actually an android, or a genetically-modified raised-from-birth Alliance soldier intentionally denuded of any strong human emotion or inner drive (or any human failing), I'd say, "Ohhh... that explains it." At least that would make her interesting in a Lt. Data-ish way. I'm also not very happy she cold-cocked my girl Saffron, who is brutally hot, and if she wants to kill everyone on board Serenity, well tough shit. Suck it up, shake it off. I wish she did kill everyone on board so I could finally see my dream TV show, Saffron: Intergalactic Space-Whore. Thanks to Ian at Inoperable Terran. | Recent Comments
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Question Time Cafe Another Jihadist Stabbing Attack in Germany, This Time at the Berlin Holocaust Museum Julie Kelly: Meet New #Resistance Hero Denise Cheung Hollywood Hits Peak Woke/Broke as Captain America Projected to See Huge 70% Second-Weekend Dropoff After Flop Opening Trump Tells Maine's Woke Governess: If You Continue Letting Men Beat the Shit Out of Girls In Sport, I'm Cutting Every Dollar of Federal Funding Jasmine Crockett, Who Is Absolutely On Trump's Payroll, Announces That She Will Block Trump's Plan to Give Taxpayers $5,000 Out of the Money DOGE Saves, Because $5,000 Doesn't Mean Anything to US Citizens AG Pam Bondi Informs the Senate That Their Restrictions on Who the President Can Fire Are Unconstitutional and That the Administration Will Ignore Them Media Blames MAGA Trump-Fan Racists For Stabbing Death of Lesbian Fire Chief Plot Twist: The Suspect Is the Lesbain Fire Chief's Wife, Who, Get This, Was Previously Imprisoned for Stabbing Her Husband to Death THE MORNING RANT: Taxpayer-Subsidized “Clean Tech” Ventures in Support of the “EV Transition” Are Starting to Fold Search
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