A few suggestions for Black Ministers/Racial Grievance-mongers.

I've been trying to digest the scandal over Obama's loudmouthed minister, and I've had a flash of insight that I'd like to share with y'all.

Grievance-mongers like Reverend Wright like to use the standard list of boogeymen when assigning blame for the state of Black America:

1. Whitey.
2. The CIA.
3. The Jews.
4. Uppity middle-class black folks.
5. Korean grocers (OK, I've never heard Reverend Wright go after Koreans, but then again, I've never listened to all his sermons, so I'm sure the Koreans are in there somewhere).

It's sort of compelling to listen to the Reverend's rants on racial relations, but there's something missing. He's mining the same vein of hatred over & over again, and frankly, it's starting to get BORING!

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Jews are making young black men drop out of school & sell crack. Whitey's keeping you down, and all that. How about mixing in an exotic nemesis or two while you're at it?

Just once, I'd like to hear a black leader go off on a rant about the Freemasons conspiring to keep the test scores of black kids lower than those of white kids, or maybe a nice tirade blaming the flouridation of public drinking water for the spread of Ebonics in the culture of young blacks.

It's a fact that hype sells, so why not come up with some by-God Bond Villains to carry the blame for all the ills of your community? "Whitey" is such a monolithic concept that most people can't grasp blaming an entire race for their problems. Maybe all the problems with Black America can be laid at the feet of a specific ethnic group? No, not the Jews, that card's been played repeatedly. I'm thinking that those filthy SCANDI snow-wops could make a good scapegoat. They're pasty white, they eat lutefisk & lime jello with pineapple chunks buried in it, and they live in frigid Northern communities which are largely made up of fellow scandis.

And as far as blaming "the CIA" for your problems goes; you do realize that on a scale of competence the CIA ranks somewhere between The Washington Generals and "Cobra Command" from the old GI Joe cartoons? The CIA couldn't pour piss out of a boot if you printed the directions on the heel, but the looney left in our country continues to portray the CIA as omnipotently evil. Why not find a new government agency to scapegoat? Hey, the Department of Agriculture hasn't had that much scrutiny directed their way. Are you sure that shadowy USDA inspectors aren't visiting bodegas in black neighborhoods to sprinkle cocktails of experimental hormones on the food? Think about it.

Look, whatever you think about right-wing kooks like the Paulbots or LaRouchies, at least they come up with entertaining conspiracy theories. Maybe if the Reverend Wright had preached about the evil influence of the US Postal Service instead of "whitey" & the Jews, Obama could have given a regular stump speech today instead of a designated "racial divisiveness" targeted speech. It's just something to think about.

posted by Russ from Winterset at 01:44 PM

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