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March 16, 2008

Obama Never Heard Uncle Jerry's Controversial Sermons, Except, of Course, the Ones He Owned on Videotape and Mimicked to Develop His Own Public Voice

In related news, Albert Speer just emailed to ask me, "Adolf who now?"

Also, Heinrich Himmler writes to say, "I swear to God, I thought he was talking about the gnus. Honestly, yeah, I thought it was pretty weird he was always ranting about them, but I thought it was mostly harmless; I can count the number of gnu-owned businesses I've seen on one hand. Wow. Guess we might have avoided an awful lot of stress and upset if we'd just been listening a little closer. I'm going to have to call a great big 'my bad' on this one. I don't mind telling you fellers I feel like a bit of a horse's ass, if I'm being honest. Oh well, that's why God gave pencils erasers!"

Whoah, the mailbag is overflowing with emails from high ranking Nazis. This from Dr. Josef Mengele: "Anyone who doubts Herr Obama is telling the truth is a racist."

As I'm concerned, Dr. Mengele's word is the gold standard, so file closed.

Bonus: ABCNews' Jake "Racist" Tapper also questions the Obamessiah's convenient lapses from omniscience to obliviousness. If Obama's just hearing of all this now, how come he disinvited Wright from a public event a year ago, with a staffer explaining sometimes Wright's sermons get "too rough"?

Here's a more interesting nugget: Rolling Stone published an article about the radical roots of Barack Obama called, cleverly enough, "The Radical Roots of Barack Obama."

You can see that title in this URL:


But now that the radical roots of Barack Obama turn out to be not just something that gets impotent aging RS editors sexually aroused, but something that might just end Obama's candidacy, the article isn't called that anymore.

Now it exists officially in the Rolling Stone archives under the decidedly less damning headline Destiny's Child.

Ah, well. Rock n' roll is forever reinventing itself, I guess. Rock on, aging out-of-touch pot-addled Rolling Stone hippies. Rock on.

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posted by Ace at 03:21 AM

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