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August 11, 2007

Scandi Hell [OregonMuse]

Just north of Eugene, Oregon, where I live, there is the little town of Junction City. It is a nice town, a quiet town, except for one weekend out of the year, when literally dozens of lutefisk-crazed icebacks, reindeer-lickers, walrus-jockeys, seal-suckers, and Lutherans descend upon the town for their annual "festival." H.P. Lovecraft, loaded on absinthe, could not adequately describe the horrors.

You have never seen a more wretched hive of scum and villainy as when Junction City is taken over by all those dirty Scandis, peddling their evil aebelskivers, flotevaflers and (shudder) havrenkniplekakers. I mean, I could have been OK with the first two, but did they have to bring those havrenkniplekakers? That's really too much for a sane man to take.

I think they should also have one called the arterioklogger which, like all the rest of these items contain elements of all three Scandi food groups:

1) sugar
2) dough
3) grease

Also beware of this link. where you can see photos of Scandis at play, which you probably shouldn't let your children watch.

Scandis. Filthy Scandis.


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posted by xgenghisx at 04:25 PM

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