Scandi Hell [OregonMuse]

Just north of Eugene, Oregon, where I live, there is the little town of Junction City. It is a nice town, a quiet town, except for one weekend out of the year, when literally dozens of lutefisk-crazed icebacks, reindeer-lickers, walrus-jockeys, seal-suckers, and Lutherans descend upon the town for their annual "festival." H.P. Lovecraft, loaded on absinthe, could not adequately describe the horrors.

You have never seen a more wretched hive of scum and villainy as when Junction City is taken over by all those dirty Scandis, peddling their evil aebelskivers, flotevaflers and (shudder) havrenkniplekakers. I mean, I could have been OK with the first two, but did they have to bring those havrenkniplekakers? That's really too much for a sane man to take.

I think they should also have one called the arterioklogger which, like all the rest of these items contain elements of all three Scandi food groups:

1) sugar
2) dough
3) grease

Also beware of this link. where you can see photos of Scandis at play, which you probably shouldn't let your children watch.

Scandis. Filthy Scandis.

posted by xgenghisx at 04:25 PM

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