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July 25, 2007

Late Ward Churchill Thread

As expected, he was fired, and as expected, he and his unwashed supporters made asses of themselves over the firing.

He gets heckled here by a guy. As Allah points out, make sure you listen closely for his rapier-sharp wit.

I waited to post this because, as it turns out, I have a little exclusive. Back in 2003 I was in the Comedy Cellar in NY and, to my great surprise, Ward Churchill was one of the middle performers in the set, going under the name "The Amazing Chutch." I recorded his comedy set, and have transcribed it below for your enjoyment.

Thank you, thank you. How about that last comic? Let's give it up for him. He's a Jew. Clap for him or else he will seize your lands and add them to his own.

Thank you.

My wife, my wife don't get me started. She's so fat. My wife is so fat, she has no mind.

Thank you.

And her cooking. Her cooking is very bad. She is the only woman I know who can burn foods which are usually incapable of being burned. Such as hot water. I believe this is because her mind cannot properly think. She has been misled and corrupted by the White Liars.

Thank you.

The other day I was on an airplane. On these Steel Condors they do not offer you proper food, such as my ancestors would feast upon, such as buffalo and maize. Instead they offer only peanuts. In packages that are very difficult to open. These airplane people, let me tell you: They oppress me with their White Man's Foil Wrappers.

Thank you.

Is anyone here from New Jersey? Let me hear you. I see that we have six people from New Jersey. They don not seem to want to admit it. Probably because they are embarrassed, for they have no brains.

I kid, I kid. I'm just playing. But seriously, your minds cannot see the truth.

Who here is the White Man? I see several of the White Tribe here. You killed and raped my ancestors. One day the chickens will come home to roost, and then all you Little Eichmanns will be killed. And my people shall be proud once more.

Thank you.

Who's following this American Idol thing? Isn't this crazy? It seems crazy to me. I look at these people, I look at the people cheering them, and I think: These people have no minds.

Thank you.

Well that about wraps it up for me. Next up is Shecky Lowenstein. Clap as if your lives depended on it, because they probably do. And remember to tip your waitress, or else your brains are very small and clouded by hate.

(drops microphone, exits stage)

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posted by Ace at 09:20 PM

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