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July 12, 2007

Can We Get A Pardon From Bush For This Guy?

There's a good chance he'll be freed by the courts, but a guy got a ten year sentence for getting oral sex from an underage 15-year-old girl.

Sounds bad. Except the guy was himself seventeen when this pedophiliac sodomy occurred. The law criminalizing sex between a fifteen year old and a seventeen year old has since been repealed, and yet the guy is still in jail, because he violated the law as it stood at the time.

My fifteen-year-old self would be all in favor of this prosecution. Nothing, nothing angered me more that all the cute chicks I had crushes on as a freshman or sophomore were dating juniors or seniors (and then first-year college freshman).

But that kind of points out the absurdity of all of this: It happens all the time. 15-year-old boys don't like 17-year-olds poaching from their cohort of potential girlfriends, but it's been like this forever. It's not criminal -- it's just dickish.

Related: Idiot lawyer with nothing better to do sues NY nightclubs for "Ladies' Night" promotions, citing discrimination under the 14th Amendment.

I'd like to sue nightclubs myself on other grounds: Cranking up the (usually awful) music to ear-splitting, conversation-killing levels, even when the bar is almost completely empty, in a pathetic attempt to mislead the clientel into thinking "Gee, this place is really happening! I mean, blimey, the music is so loud, it's like a I just walked into the greatest party ever! I wonder when all the cool people will show up!"

The weird thing is that this is most common in pick-up joints. How are you supposed to lay rap when you've got to scream like a banshee in a girl's ear just so she can manage to hear every third word of what you're saying?

But the weirder thing is that this is now common, too, with dive-y neighborhood bars. A place can stink of urine and hobos (but I repeat myself) but the owners think if they just crank Fergilicious up to 11 they've created a hip, tony nightclub where the three gutter-rummies passed out on their barstools are transmogrified into the Beautiful People despite only having a dozen teeth between them.

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posted by Ace at 04:20 PM

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