Glenn Greenwald Calls Instapundit A Faggot

No, I'm not kidding. Cut through the torturous verbosity of Greewaldese -- which is similar to English, just not as vital or vigorous -- and you basically have Greenwald calling Reynolds a queer.

As he calls most men on the right. Some named -- Jonah Goldberg, Victor Davis Hansen, Joe Lieberman -- and the rest implied.

I know what everyone's thinking. Reynolds and Althouse, who of course joins in, strain mightily not to think it, and by and large they succeed.

Because they don't think that way. Or would like not to, anyway.

Althouse gamely attempts to translate Greenwaldese to English. She discovers a Third Dynasty cartouche allowing her to successfully translate some of the heiroglyphics--

There are few things more disorienting than listening to Rush Limbaugh declare himself the icon of machismo and masculinity and mock others as "wimps." And if you look at those who have this obsession -- the Chris Matthews and Glenn Reynolds and Jonah Goldbergs and Victor Davis Hansons -- what one finds in almost every case is that those who want to convert our political process and especially our national policies into a means of proving one's "traditional masculine virtues" -- the physically courageous warriors unbound by effete conventions -- themselves could not be further removed from those attributes, and have lives which are entirely devoid of such "virtues."

Let's translate that last paragraph from Glennwaldese to plain English: No, you guys are wimps.

Althouse wonders (but not in the obvious context),

Do women not exist in Glenn G's world?

Must... resist... the low road.

Eh, what the hell. Dance with the girl that brung ya and all that. Since it's the low road that Greenwald himself stamps down every day, here it is:

I really think that questioning others' masculinity is a game probably better left to people who haven't had more cock in and out of them than a Tyson Chicken regional distribution center.

I'm sorry, was that not turgid enough for Greenwald? Let me try to translate that for Gleen in his native tongue:

This dynamic of a decidedly effeminate man accusing his rivals of being insufficiently manly, and indeed homoerotically longing to be dominated by men with such virtues, is depressingly pervasive, yet incomparably significant.

Not that I'm saying homosexuality is incompatible with masculinity, of course. Consenting biweekly to having one's duodenum battered with the manic hydraulic fury of a tricked-out V-12 jackhammer manned by an epileptic Con-Ed worker with an ancestral oath of vengeance against asphalt would, I think, tend to butch one up, at least as regards one's pain threshold.

But let's break down Greenwald:

1: Praising masculine virtues and denigrating the female virtues is a singular element of fascism;

but

2: My political opponents are mincing fairyboys and you shouldn't believe what they write because they're sissified shemales who lust for the protective embrace of big, strong arms to wrap around them and hold them tight.

Let us combine these two:

3: Glenn Greenwald is a closet fascist, like his heroes before him, such as, oh let's just throw out a name here, Roy Cohn.

Integrity is not the same as courage or masculinity of course, but there is some correlation between the virtues.

Glenn Greenwald -- who girlishly posted mash-notes to himself under sockpuppet psuedonyms, lacking the balls to write his self-puffery under his own name, and then, get this, claimed innocence by blaming the posts on his live-in boyfriend/cabana boy -- really ought to be "living quietly" about such issues, as Rick Kaplan suggested of Dan "Memogate" Rather.

Is Instapundit A Homo? Well, I think I met him three times or something, and he never tried to pork me. Given the fact I'm 180 pounds of rompin'-stompin' Clydesdale-clompin' 180 proof sex, I'd say he successfully passed that test.

posted by Ace at 11:48 PM

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