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May 31, 2007

In Defense Of Unoriginal Verbiage

Rachel Lucas Is A Bitch

I don't really mean that, of course. She seems like a lovely woman. Just coming off mean and persnickety to me lately.

What is it about cliches that so offend people? The reason certain phrases become trite and worn is because they are so useful, after all.
From Ms. Lucas' Guide to Online dating:

7. Do not title your headline, "Carpe Diem." Dude. That is the most hackneyed thing you could possibly say. We're OVER it. Great movie, nice concept, but Jesus H. Christ. Just do not say it.

Hey, WTF is wrong with 'Carpe Diem?' It has become part of the idiom. If this fine, feisty old slogan repels hyper-sophisticated professional snark-demons, single men should put it in their ad headline just for that protective effect.

8. Do not title your headline, "Nice Guy...With An Edge." The primary reason for that is, five billion other guys use the same headline. The secondary reason is because it is meaningless and also sounds really fuckin' silly.

But it's not meaningless, Rachel. It means 'I'm a terrified little boy and please don't hurt me.'

11. Much like #6, do yourself a huge favor and don't say that you "enjoy life." Because, again, NO SHIT. We are all going to go ahead and assume you do, in fact, enjoy life, even if you don't point out such. You may as well tell us that you are glad you can breathe and you don't want to die.

When a guy says he 'enjoys life,' he means, 'intense depressives and bitter divorcees need not respond to this ad.'

I don't know why her post rubbed me the wrong way, exactly. It just seemed unnecessarily critical of people who are just being real.

If a girl is looking for a prose-craftin' wizard to steal her heart away, she's going to date a string of phonies, and miss out on some really great guys.

She also wrote a guide for women.

Pretty much the same thing.
So glad I'm married.

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posted by LauraW. at 12:55 PM

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