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May 16, 2007

Not Safe For Work Post On Feminists Who Crave Domination And Abhor Sensitive Liberal Wussyboys

Really, probably better if you read this when you get home. Pretty funny, and, maybe, even true of many women.

Who knows. I'll try to duck some of the unhinged feminist blog-fire by pretending I don't know any women like this at all.

I'll quote some of it after the jump. The rest of it is even dirtier than the stuff I'm quoting here.

I'd like to see this chick debate Amanda Marcotte. Unlike Ms. Marcotte, this woman has actual, empirical, real-world experience in the bedroom. She speaks about more than airy, untested theory.

As a feminist, I used to worry about the implications of my predilection for dirty talk in bed. What does it mean, exactly, I'd wonder, that I enjoy a guy asking me do you like that, huh, do you like that, you little whore?


And so what if I minored in Women's Studies in college, or at least for two semesters, until I couldn't keep a straight face during seminars like "The Flow of HerStory: Menstruation Throughout History?" Big deal. Sometimes being asked if you like that rock hard cock is just what it takes to push some chicks to orgasm. And a screaming, sweaty orgasm makes it such that I really don't give a shit what it means, in terms of sexual politics.

Sexual politics are for the classroom. If you spend all your time wondering whether or not something's wrong or degrading, you're just not going to have a whole lot of fun in the bedroom.

And it's not like I'm into weird-ass shit. It's not like I want someone to pee on me or punch me in the face during orgasm or anything like that. I just like good, old-fashioned, highly athletic fucking, is all.

A female acquaintance of mine from grad school refused to do it doggie style because she said that it was degrading to women.

I asked her once, "Yeah, but does it feel good to you?"

She paused.

"That's not the point," she replied. "Doggie style is completely animalistic. It's primitive, caveman style. We've evolved. Men and women should be face to face during sex. You know, equals."

As she spoke about how animalistic and primitive doggie style was, her face had become oddly...aroused-looking.

It was then that I realized that not only did she like it doggie style, she probably also liked it up the ass. And as our campus Women's Rights League student liaison, was discomfited by her penchant for back door action.

Of course sex is completely animalistic and primitive. The good kind is, anyway. Some of the worst sex I've ever had was with guys with whom I went to grad school. Any straight guy who's chosen to take "The Power of the Vagina: Gender Performance in Renaissance Drama," nine times out of ten, is not going to be a great lay. In my experience, anyway. He's just a little too in touch with his feminine side.

She does allow that she likes to know a man has some feminist training, though, so she knows that when he's calling her a dirty filthy whore who needs to be punished he's really doing a dirty-talk fantasy thing, not really, you know, expressing his genuine belief that she's a dirty filth whore who needs to be punished.

But apart from Mysterious Drifters usually played by Don Johnson or Mickey Rourke who come into a small town during the swelter of the summer in order to rob banks, shake up the quiet rhythms of small-town life, and (ambiguously) rape women, how many real dudes actually think of women this way?

Besides Bart, I mean. And/or Telly "Maggot" Savalas in The Dirty Dozen. Those are gimmes, but can you name any others?

The Flipside: Can any guys (or lesbians) conjure anything more depressing that having sex with a wholesale subscriber to strong-form feminist theory like Amanda Marcotte? Is anyone else's idea of dirty-talk Baby, I am going to empower you all night long... ?

I can't think of anything more miserable. Marcotte and her ilk talk about men, but they're really only into manifestos.

Really, politics has no place in light conversation and/or light bondage and discipline.

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posted by Ace at 05:24 PM

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