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March 21, 2007

Dead-Deer Fornicator Sentenced to... Treatment

Treatment? Treatment? Why it's almost worth it to have sex with a dead deer!

A 20-year-old Superior man received probation after he was convicted of having sexual contact with a dead deer.

The sentence also requires Bryan James Hathaway to be evaluated as a sex offender and treated at the Institute for Psychological and Sexual Health in Duluth, Minn.

...

He was found guilty in April 2005 of felony mistreatment of an animal after he killed a horse with the intention of having sex with it. He was sentenced to 18 months in jail and two years of extended supervision on that charge as well as six years of probation for taking and driving a vehicle without the owner's consent.

Hathaway pleaded no contest earlier this month to misdemeanor mistreatment of an animal for the incident involving the deer. He was sentenced Tuesday in Douglas County Circuit Court.

"The type of behavior is disturbing," Judge Michael Lucci said. "It's disturbing to the public. It's disturbing to the court."

"Good," said Horatio Caine as he snapped his sunglasses off. "Because having sex with a dead deer is something that should disturb us all."

Incidentally, I kinda feel bad about this, but whatever: The last episode of CSI: Miami featured, if I counted right, zero sunglasses off/sunglasses on moments.

The mockery got to him. Not mine, of course. But Jim Carrey's.

I'm not sure why I feel bad. David Milch (producer of Deadwood, former producer for NYPD Blue) says he's a huge asshole, but how do I know he's not an asshole himself?

Anyway, for some reason, I just felt bad when David Caruso abandoned his favorite bit of business last Monday. He just seemed like a puppy that had its favorite bone taken away.



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posted by Ace at 06:05 PM

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