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The Malcontent On The Snickers Wars | Main | Obama Messiah Watch: Son of Man Celebrated Birthdays, Wrote Short But Friendly Messages In Yearbooks
February 06, 2007

Twin Shocks: Ivanka Trump Looks Hot; Andy Dick Annoys While Running Bad Joke Into The Ground While Pretending To Like Girls

I'm not going to say Andy Dick is never funny. He is funny. Sometimes.

And a lot of the time he's not, and when he's not funny, he's quite unfunny. And annoying.

Kind of like Andy Kaufman, who, since his death, is pretended by almost everyone to have always been hysterically funny, while, in fact, anyone who actually remembers him knows his schtick was sometimes very funny, but very often legal justification for intentional homicide.

Except Dick is never as funny as Kaufman was. Just kinda funny.

Why am I talking about him? He gets escorted off the set of the Jimmy Kimmel show for refusing to stop touching Ivanka Trump despite the fact she's obviously not cool with it -- uhh, Andy? This is a professional woman, not Tara Reid, you imbecile.

But that's not why I'm linking it.

I'm linking it for the not-yet-seen-before Ivanka legs in black velvet-looking go-go boots.

Maureen Dowd thinks that it's her braininess that keeps her unmarried?

Okay. We'll see how long one of Ivanka's suitors takes to "lock that down," as Michael Bluth says.

Bonus Celebrity Stupid: Mariah Carey blames the quick box-office demise of her legendarily-awful Glitter on the fact that it was released "around the same time as 9/11."

Mairah? Seriously? The studio released it after 9/11 for the same reason flacks release bad news on a Friday -- with the hopes that nobody would notice.

Unfortunately, that tactic hasn't worked since JFK, and it didn't work for Glitter, either.

There was a genuine movie casualty of 9/11 -- Zoolander. A movie people were too freaked out about in 9/11's aftermath. And of course no one was much in a laughing mood. But of course Zoolander has now displaced Fletch as the 13th most-quoted guy movie of all time.

I don't notice anyone quoting Glitter. At no point during has anyone ever turned to a friend and said, "We ask ourselves, is she black? Is she white? We don't care. She's exotic. I want to see more of her breasts."


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