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January 09, 2007

Top Ten Signs You're At A Somali Wedding Party

10. Dress is strictly black-tie and black-bandana facial mask

9. Invitations promise "Dinner at Nine, Dancing 'till Midnight, Suicide-Bombing 'till ?..."

8. The wedding band's rendition of Signed, Sealed, Delivered contains a bassline which incorporates coded messages to Hezbollah

7. When the bride tosses the "bouquet," panicked guests run away in shrieking horror

6. The buzz of the party is whether or not the bride will take the husband's nom de guerre

5. The best man's toast concludes, "Health, wealth, and happiness, and death to the pig-monkey Jews and infidel Crusaders"

4. The couple is registered at the Syrian Intelligence Agency

3. According to tradition, the bride's father pays for the wedding; the groom's father provides the new couple with a SATCOM radio and Katyushka surface-to-surface missiles

2. Dinner selections include prime rib, stuffed chicken, and binary-form sarin gas

...and the Number One Sign You're at an Somali "Wedding Party"...

1. The groom sports the traditional Islamist beard, as does the bride

...

Eh, someone suggested I repost it.

posted by Ace at 03:29 PM

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Invitations promise "Dinner at Nine, Dancing 'till Midnight, Suicide-Bombing 'till ?..." 8. The wedding band's rendition of Signed, Sealed, Delivered contains a bassline which incorporates coded messages to Hezbollah 7. When the bride tosses the "bouquet," panicked guests run away in shrieking horror 6. The buzz of the party is whether or not the bride will take the husband's nom de guerre 5. The best man's toast concludes, "Health, wealth, and happiness, and death to the pig-monkey Jews and infidel Crusaders" 4. The couple is registered at the Syrian Intelligence Agency 3. According to tradition, the bride's father pays for the wedding; the groom's father provides the new couple with a SATCOM radio and Katyushka surface-to-surface missiles 2. Dinner selections include prime rib, stuffed chicken, and binary-form sarin gas ...and the Number One Sign You're at an Somali "Wedding Party"... 1. The groom sports the traditional Islamist beard, as does the bride ... 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