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January 09, 2007

Chris Klein: Still A Dick

Well, "still" is misleading, because even I recognize this article as being old.

Zonies sent it to me -- dude, it's old; Just Friends came out like ten years ago -- but it's fun to knock Chris Klen around. Plus I'm trying to think of a new way to write a post I've written six thousand times already, and let me tell you, it's a bitch and a half. So why not.

Chris Klein before his metamorphosis from larva to, well, Chris Klein:

“I was kind of thinking about that on the way over here, trying to remember if I had been or had not been because I thought that that might be a question of interest. I did come up with one name, and her name is Natalie. I remember my freshman year of high school - my freshman and sophomore years of high school - I was absolutely in love with her but she was always busy dating older guys. I had braces and I was kind of a late bloomer pubescence-wise, so I didn't have the juice needed to get out of that. I was in jazz choir and things like that. She was interested in all that stuff too, so we'd go on the road together and do all that stuff. But I could never… She dated a baseball player. I had no chance.”

And now?

“What ended up happening in Regina, and we also used the town of Moose Jaw which is I guess 45 miles to the east of Regina, it actually reminded me a heck of a lot of where I grew up. The flatness of it. The sparseness of it. When you do get to the town, environmentally it was perfect for our movie: how I felt very at home with the women of our particular suburban small town, how I was content with the available women in that town and confident that I could woo most of them, if not all."

Pubescent-wise. What were his other ones? "Speaking pubescently" was one. He has thirty ways to say "puberty" and all of them are wrong.

In related news, Katie Holmes has, apparently, never lived in Moose Jaw.

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posted by Ace at 02:21 PM

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