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December 19, 2006

Vandals Stab Family's Frosty The Snowman To Death For The Third Time

With video. A hidden camera was installed, and one vandal, Robert Snell, was caught after the third time. (No footage of that, alas.)

family in Ohio was prey to holiday vandals recently. Their lawn decorations were attacked by neighborhood scrooges.

The holiday grinches have been knocking the wind out of frosty.

A hidden camera caught two people stabbing repeatedly an inflatable snowman.

...

Williquette has seen this happen twice before in the last three weeks, "They slashed him there and they also got him in the head twice."

Inside Frosty's mangled torso; Matt found a screwdriver and footprints on the nylon.

"Mangled torso." Heh.

...

Isaac Lindquist says, "It was terrible, real terrible. They are the nicest people and I can't imagine why anybody would be after them specifically."

I don't know if they're after the family so much as if they're after Frosty, who pretty much everyone hates.

Frosty the Snowman was always the weak link in the children's Santa-Rudolph-Frosty fantasy. Santa-- well, you bought into him without question. Flying reindeer were harder to believe, but if Santa was to make all those deliveries in one long night, he'd need a magical transport, right?

But Frosty? A talking frigging snowman animated by a stage magician's hat? That one even stupid kids gagged on. And it made them question Santa.

I know I personally found out Santa wasn't real when I questioned the Frosty the Snowman bullshit. I just wanted my Mom to confirm this idiotic snow-golem was fake, but she took the opportunity to also tell me Santa wasn't real either.

Santa? Santa? Santa's not real?!?

I underwent this trauma all because of my strong doubts about Frosty the Abominable Snowjob. Slightly less plausible than even the Tooth Fairy. (And no one cared if the Tooth Fairy was real or not anyway.)

Good riddance to bad slush.

Thanks to Dan Riehl.

Also check out Kofi Annan, a corrupt millionaire in his own right, and married to a very wealthy Sweidsh heiress, conniving to retain his government-subsidized apartment while poor people in NY are on a four-year wait-list for such housing.

Question: If you discovered the Horrible Truth from your parents, they probably told you not to tell other kids, to let other kids live with their fantasies, and let their own parents tell them.

Did you? Or did go out there and evangelize for Santa Atheism?

I did the latter. It was just too juicy.

I only wish I'd had a blog at that age. The flaming skull would have been up for the MSM (Mainstream Mom) Santa Lie. I would have started the 12/25 Truther movement with a documentary called "Loose Elves."

I would've got me some serious hits.


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posted by Ace at 04:16 PM

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