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October 21, 2006

Haiku Contest Winners

The Nominees.

It will take more than
Blowing up Levees and Blacks
To win election
-Stupid Typical Fucking Moonbat

On Election Day
Impeachment proceedings start
Pelosi Gone Wild

Pelosi Gone Wild:
Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew
Ew ew ew ew ew

Speaker Pelosi
Mexican Flag Day Parade
Sphincters know no peace

Dems control Congress?
We should look on the bright side.
Bush might veto something.

Rest assured people
We can beat those assholes
Victory is ours

And if you don't
Stop whining
I'll hit you with babies

Why is everyone
So scared about November?
Diebold will come through.

Air America:
Nobody wanted to pay
Funny how that works.

Loquacious moonbats
Gyring about logic, yet
Never alighting

Winter's hopes are high
Dark rain of voters appears
Diebold laughs at polls

Red states in winter
Blue states exult, Japan goes
Atomic in spring

America vote
Karl Rove tap staff three times
Democrat eat turd

John F. Not Kerry also posted like...eighty or something haikus. He had the chops but not the imagery, until this one:

Internet tubes great
Stevens crosses Nowhere Bridge
Dinosaurs not gone

I have no fucking clue what that means. Sincerely. Not the foggiest. But I like it.

Before we get to the other winners, I am obligated to give special recognition to a long-time commenter here who has often helped inform us and keep us on top of the issues, as well as generally brighten our day.

Biggest Pussy-Ass He-Bitch With Sand In His Vagina Award goes to Knemon for this sparkling array of embarrassing whining, cleverly disguised as haiku:

"Media bubble":
What some of us like to call
Reporting the facts.

(Not in all cases
But it strains credulity
To ignore all polls).
"Reporting the facts":
Clearly, not in all cases
But don't act like loons.

The problem is real,
The GOP has screwed up
Don't count on a win.
*All* polls can't be wrong,
Trend is clear and troubling,
This might be their year.
Yes, I'm a RINO
But the truth of the matter:
Can't win without mods.
Absentee ballots
Very numerous this year -
I don't think that's good.

Wow. Wow.
Stunning. I didn't think such copious menstruation was even possible. Knemon's ridin' a wave!

Knemon wins 3 lbs. of freshly ground chuck, which will be delivered via special courier and hidden somewhere in his yard without his knowledge.

And now, The Winners:

Pelosi Gone Wild:
Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew
Ew ew ew ew ew

Rest assured people
We can beat those assholes
Victory is ours

And if you don't
Stop whining
I'll hit you with babies

America vote
Karl Rove tap staff three times
Democrat eat turd

Congratulations, eman, Bart, and Slublog!

You each win a sharp stick in the eye! Yaaaayyy!

Many thanks to all who participated. As usual it was very difficult to weigh the relative merits and make these choices. So I just did it completely randomly this time.

digg this
posted by Laura. at 07:01 PM

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