Haiku Contest Winners

The Nominees.

It will take more than
Blowing up Levees and Blacks
To win election
-Stupid Typical Fucking Moonbat

On Election Day
Impeachment proceedings start
Pelosi Gone Wild
-Barry

Pelosi Gone Wild:
Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew
Ew ew ew ew ew
-Slublog

Speaker Pelosi
Mexican Flag Day Parade
Sphincters know no peace
-eman

Dems control Congress?
We should look on the bright side.
Bush might veto something.
-pbrown

Rest assured people
We can beat those assholes
Victory is ours

And if you don't
Stop whining
I'll hit you with babies
-Bart

Why is everyone
So scared about November?
Diebold will come through.
-Slublog

Air America:
Nobody wanted to pay
Funny how that works.
-Dogstar

Loquacious moonbats
Gyring about logic, yet
Never alighting
-Geoff

Winter's hopes are high
Dark rain of voters appears
Diebold laughs at polls
-Toby928

Red states in winter
Blue states exult, Japan goes
Atomic in spring
-Toby928

America vote
Karl Rove tap staff three times
Democrat eat turd
-eman

John F. Not Kerry also posted like...eighty or something haikus. He had the chops but not the imagery, until this one:

Internet tubes great
Stevens crosses Nowhere Bridge
Dinosaurs not gone

I have no fucking clue what that means. Sincerely. Not the foggiest. But I like it.

Before we get to the other winners, I am obligated to give special recognition to a long-time commenter here who has often helped inform us and keep us on top of the issues, as well as generally brighten our day.

Biggest Pussy-Ass He-Bitch With Sand In His Vagina Award goes to Knemon for this sparkling array of embarrassing whining, cleverly disguised as haiku:

"Media bubble":
What some of us like to call
Reporting the facts.

(Not in all cases
But it strains credulity
To ignore all polls).
---------
"Reporting the facts":
Clearly, not in all cases
But don't act like loons.

The problem is real,
The GOP has screwed up
Don't count on a win.
---------
*All* polls can't be wrong,
Trend is clear and troubling,
This might be their year.
--------
Yes, I'm a RINO
But the truth of the matter:
Can't win without mods.
--------
Absentee ballots
Very numerous this year -
I don't think that's good.

Wow. Wow.
Stunning. I didn't think such copious menstruation was even possible. Knemon's ridin' a wave!

Knemon wins 3 lbs. of freshly ground chuck, which will be delivered via special courier and hidden somewhere in his yard without his knowledge.

And now, The Winners:

Pelosi Gone Wild:
Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew
Ew ew ew ew ew
-Slublog

Rest assured people
We can beat those assholes
Victory is ours

And if you don't
Stop whining
I'll hit you with babies
-Bart

America vote
Karl Rove tap staff three times
Democrat eat turd
-eman

Congratulations, eman, Bart, and Slublog!

You each win a sharp stick in the eye! Yaaaayyy!

Many thanks to all who participated. As usual it was very difficult to weigh the relative merits and make these choices. So I just did it completely randomly this time.

posted by Laura. at 07:01 PM

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