Lending Islam a Helping Hand [Jack M.]

Heh.

Yes, the pun in the title is deliberate.

For those of you too lazy to click the link, there is currently a story on Drudge in which Iran's Supreme Leader, Sayyid Ali Khameini, has declared that masturbation during the Ramadan holiday is a forbidden act which renders any fasting invalid.

Here is the question posed to him, and the answer he provided:

Khameini, who is Iran's most powerful political and religious figure, was asked on his website : "If somebody masturbates during the month of Ramadan but without any discharge, is his fasting invalidated?"

"If he do not intend masturbation and discharging semen and nothing is discharged, his fasting is correct even though he has done a ḥarām (forbidden) act. But, if he intends masturbation or he knows that he usually discharges semen by this process and semen really comes out, it is a ḥaram intentional breaking fasting," the Iranian leader said, posting the reply on his website.

I get the feeling that this question was posed to him by a so-calledmoderate muslim. After all, did you check out the layers of nuance provided?

In any event, we here at AoSHQ are nothing if not sensitive to these sorts of pressing issues. In fact, some here know them inside and out. You might even say, these are issues that they are as familiar with as the back of their hand.

Not me, mind you. I'm just reporting here.

Anyway, in a show of outreach to those in the Islamic world who are having great difficulties remaining masters of their caliphate, I will post the world's greatest cure for masturbatory desire after the jump.

If you need it, click on it. Otherwise, feel free to go on to the next post. I'm just trying to do my bit for world peace by relieving Middle East....umm...tensions, after all.

So here it is. If you can derive satisfaction from Rosie Palm and her 5 sisters after this, you are a much more deviant man than I.

Come to mama, baby!

You know, I made a great sacrifice finding this picture to bring to you. I think someone should nominate me for a Nobel Prize.

posted by Ace at 11:29 PM

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