CNN Agnostic On Merits of "Loose Change" Conspiracy Theory | Main | The Stupidest Game Ever
September 15, 2006

My Solution To The Torture Debate Is Elegant In Its Simplicity

Anybody up for continuing our great national debate on torture and military tribunals?

Me neither.

So here's the plan: Bush quietly puts out word to the intelligence community that they are to continue using whatever methods they've found to work. When our guys are done working them over, screw it: let them be tried wherever Congress wants (I'm nothing if not generous). The information they give us is the important thing.

Now, if someone ends up being convicted for using a method deemed excessively harsh, they receive a presidential pardon. It is issued immediately and with no questions asked. When Congress finds out and moves to impeach Bush, he resigns...and is promptly pardoned by President Cheney. It's a twofer!

Naturally there's no chance whatsoever of this happening, but that's where my mind's at right now. Because I swear to God, if I have to hear any more maudlin sob stories about John McCain's time in Vietnam, or how this country is losing it's soul to its anger, or how we're turning into the thing we're fighting, I'm just gonna put my head in a fuckin' oven.

Kindness and all that are fine when times are good, but you win wars by thinking like a Visigoth.

digg this
posted by AndrewR at 03:47 PM

| Access Comments

Recent Comments
Obama waving from Martha's Vineyard: "Taco in a bag? How does that work? ..."

CharlieBrown'sDildo: "[i]Posted by: JuJuBee, just generally being shamey ..."

Cicero kaboom kid shouts at guy near third rail: "157 I remember Paul Prudhomme saying his devout Ca ..."

AshevilleRobert: ""Asheville Robert - Did you see my comment on earl ..."

Misanthropic Humanitarian Not Andrew McCabe: "180 I see your Kath and Hendrix and raise you a Ga ..."

Donna&&&&&&V : "That happens if you use a lot of hyphens to make a ..."

CharlieBrown'sDildo: " you can park for as low as $10 if you want to wal ..."

Reggie: ">>offering a male sex doll to curious straig ..."

freaked: "'The company said they would not make child sex do ..."

AshevilleRobert: ""When was it that we had the 30 inches of snow in ..."

JuJuBee, just generally being shamey: "Maybe, Maybe not. We're right on that line. Poste ..."

rickl: "[i]155 Some assinine councilman in Queens wants ..."

Recent Entries

Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64