I'm Sorry [AnalogKid] | Main | Katie Couric launches a blog ... sort of [AnalogKid]
September 07, 2006

So, Jack...Tell Us What You Want in a Woman [Jack M.]

I've gotten some nice e-mails from you folks in the wake of my Steve Irwin post the other day. Maybe I'll share some of them with you in a day or two.

Until then, though, I will answer one question that seems to be pretty common. "What are you looking for in a woman?", you ask.

This is a question that is fairly easy to answer: Mary Katharine Ham.

Alas, there is but one MKH, and I am not on her radar screen. And so I must answer your question in another way.

By posting a YouTube video.

You see, my ideal woman should be attractive, smart, self-confident, possessed of a keen sense of humor, both casually and formally elegant, and, most importantly, able to kill a man with a bow and arrow at a distance of 40 feet using nothing more than her feet while doing a handstand.

I have no doubt that the lovely and talented MKH has all of these traits. She's a Southern girl, you know, and since I grew up in the Deep South myself, I am well aware of their innate skills with hunting weapons of all shapes and sizes.

Alas, I do not have any footage of Ms. Ham demostrating her innate weapons skills. So you will have to settle for a proxy. As for me, I will have to be content to watch the video while imagining what could be.

But Allah, if you could hook a blogger up, I'm pretty sure I could get you Bethany's number.

To the video!


digg this
posted by Ace at 12:16 AM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
blaster: "Stupid browser rendering popping things around on ..."

Ruthless: "A screaming lib Senator from AL cannot be used as ..."

Brother Cavil, Cylon Cassandra: "[i]Acceptable. Your discernment will also lead you ..."

Blackrock: "Gee, we ran a nutcase child molester and have no i ..."

MAGA: "452 McConnell is a turd-el , but he hasn't gotten ..."

Tom Servo: "The other slavery comment - this from 2010, I thin ..."

runner: "Moldovan women are quite beautiful. = you t ..."

Soothie: " Did you see that horse? Hideous. And it behaved ..."

TheQuietMan: " Fox Business has been showing Strzk's text mes ..."

joncelli, because somebody had to: "484 I thought ZhMIL last night was a sock trying t ..."

Ian S.: "[i]That said, if Bannon was half as smart as he th ..."

Bertram Cabot, Jr.: " [i]Silence, you bubble-headed boobie! Posted by ..."

Recent Entries
Search


MuNuvians
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
News/Chat
Archives
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64