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September 07, 2006

So, Jack...Tell Us What You Want in a Woman [Jack M.]

I've gotten some nice e-mails from you folks in the wake of my Steve Irwin post the other day. Maybe I'll share some of them with you in a day or two.

Until then, though, I will answer one question that seems to be pretty common. "What are you looking for in a woman?", you ask.

This is a question that is fairly easy to answer: Mary Katharine Ham.

Alas, there is but one MKH, and I am not on her radar screen. And so I must answer your question in another way.

By posting a YouTube video.

You see, my ideal woman should be attractive, smart, self-confident, possessed of a keen sense of humor, both casually and formally elegant, and, most importantly, able to kill a man with a bow and arrow at a distance of 40 feet using nothing more than her feet while doing a handstand.

I have no doubt that the lovely and talented MKH has all of these traits. She's a Southern girl, you know, and since I grew up in the Deep South myself, I am well aware of their innate skills with hunting weapons of all shapes and sizes.

Alas, I do not have any footage of Ms. Ham demostrating her innate weapons skills. So you will have to settle for a proxy. As for me, I will have to be content to watch the video while imagining what could be.

But Allah, if you could hook a blogger up, I'm pretty sure I could get you Bethany's number.

To the video!

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posted by Ace at 12:16 AM

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