Craigslist Rant: Girls Who Have Guys As "Friends" Are "Sketchy" Teases

Found over at Pretty Numbers, who partly concurs and partly dissents from the decision:

You loveless heartbreaker. You see, you are a manipulative hot chick. I am one of several (maybe more) guys that you keep around by giving us hope. Hope for a kiss that night, hope we will bang you, hope for a hand-job, hope for a real relationship - none of which we will get. We give you a rides, buy you drinks, talk to you when your "bored", listen to your bullshit about your boyfriend. We do all this for one thing: to get further with you. But here is the problem: I am not getting sex. I don't need another pal. I have "buddies" and chums. I have my homeboys and my crew.

What I don't have is a hot piece of ass that I'm banging on the side. I am done. Tired of the games and manipulation. I've put my time in, played the game, (oh boy did I play the game). But I am trying to move along now. It's too much work. It's too fatiguing to actually pretend to care about your ailments and theories on who is cool and who isn't. The constant stream of self-absorbing drivel has become numbing. I finally see you for what you are: A manipulative hot chick. Every time I see you on your cell phone (always), I can't help but think there is some other sucker on the other end of the phone, endlessly listening to you babble about yourself in the hopes of getting into your pants. You man eating psycho. Good luck to the new guy,..maybe he'll get further than me. I'm passing the torch. I am removing your # from my cell phone. Good luck. I am through playing the game. ....unless your plans fall through on Saturday. In which case, maybe we could hang. this is in or around Bostonish

More grist for the mill, and no, I don't live in "Bostonish."

Pretty Numbers thinks it's largely the guy's own fault. Well, yeah.

What's this whole "Woe is this attention whore" whine? This sissy is operating under pretenses more false than the chick is. If she's a sex-tease, he's a friendship-tease. He's as uninterested in friendship with her as she is in sex with him.

This whole "friends" thing is a pussy way to get close to a girl without putting anything on the line. I've done it dozens of times myself. It's unmanly and counterproductive. Make a move or don't, but don't be chickenshit chump waiting months and months for the "right opportunity."

The "right opportunity" comes the night you meet the person you're interested in. The girl knows within three minutes of meeting you, if not sooner. She's not going to change her mind either way by "getting to know you."

I think a lot of guys -- and chicks, for that matter -- really overestimate the power and attractiveness of their personality. Personality doesn't make someone date you. Personality makes someone want to keep dating you if they're already attracted to you, but personality alone is not getting anyone's heart aflutter.

Either someone finds you attractive enough to be datable or they don't, and this calculation is as rapid and automatic as putting out your hand to catch a baseball.

When did men (myself included) become such insufferable pussies?

This guy needs to watch Kate & Leopold and take Hugh Jackman's advice to heart: "No one wants to be courted by a buffon."

Be a man. Don't hide behind the "friendship" skirt. Don't be a "merryandrew."

Personality Goes A Long Way: Someone disagrees and says that personality matters.

Well, yes, but the superficial personality you put on when meeting people, charm, wit, magnetism, "confidence," etc. All these superficial qualities are on display immediately.

And all are factored into the decision immediately.

Guys like this are convinced that if a woman just gets to know their "deep personality," the "real person" underneath, the chick will go for them.

Wrong. First of all, no one falls in love with a really good personality. You fall in love with the superficial qualities and looks of a person. A good personality, and having virtue, and basic goodness, etc., makes someone love you more, but it doesn't make someone love you to begin with.

Second of all, as Steve Martin said in My Blue Heaven, everyone thinks they have a sense of humor, but not everyone does. Similarly, everyone thinks they have some kind of totally-cool "deeper personality," just blazing with attractiveness if only someone would take the time to get to know them, but they are, by and large, assholes, as most people are.

And I have the feeling the 10% of the population with truly stand-out virtues also tend to have the virtue of modesty, so they're not even really strongly aware they're a particularly fine specimen, personality-wise.

This particular guy's "deeper personality" is that of the sort of chump willing to spend countless hours being a girl's emotional tampon without having the balls to ask her out on a date.

So, she probably knows his "deeper personality." And that's not working for him either.

posted by Ace at 04:01 PM

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