Sponsored Content

Intermarkets' Privacy Policy

Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!

Recent Entries
Absent Friends
moon_over_vermont 2023
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021
Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups

US Muslim Terrorist-Apologist Group CAIR Bristles At "Islamic Fascist" Descriptor | Main | Atrios: No Open Threads Today, Just Solid Blogging On The Day's News
August 10, 2006

Flashback: The Body Cavity Problem

shawn keeps asking about the possibility of simply smuggling these bottles of liquid explosives in body cavities.

Hitting the wayback machine, to the first week of this blog, I noted a report from the (sensationalistic, trashy) tabloid the UK Mirror about Al Qaeda plans to smuggle plastic explosives in the, uhh, naughty parts of female terrorists.

Long story short, intelligence sources say that Al Qaeda has female suicide plane-bombers who intend to smuggle ten ounces of plastic explosives in their vaginas. They'd then take the explosives out in the privacy of the bathroom and detonate the plane. They'd like especially to blow up a plane over a major Western city-- Washington, DC is named in particular.

So, perhaps back to Plan A. The only reason this isn't done more, I suspect, is that terrorism is very definitely more of a male thing, and male terrorists are too homophobic to stick anything up their bungs. Kind of takes the sheen off of "Jihadist Holy Warrior Glory" when part of the battle is wrestling a high-explosive anal intruder up your squeakhole.

Something occurred to me a while ago. I realize many will take this as an enormously invasive tactic -- even those on the right.

But given the shenanigans that can go on in a bathroom, is it time to put video cameras in there, or optic-cable peepholes?

Before you say -- NO WAY! -- hang on. I have another suggestion. All airplane bathrooms will have a fold-down desktop style thing to cover your privates as you actually sit upon the john. (Men will have to become sitters when they pee, too, or sitztinkers, or whatever the Germans call it, or else just stand up like a man and let their freak-flag fly for the crew to see.)

Now-- invasive, yes. But with the partition over your lap, no one can actually see your dirty parts. What the crew would be looking for is strange and unexpected fiddling with the dirty bits that doesn't look like wiping.

I'm just throwing this out there. I do think this is a real problem. Anti-terrorism is like wack-a-mole-- hit one mole, and another one pops up.

PS... For any who care, that link should take you to the first page ever of this blog, from the first post, called, ingeniously enough, "First Post," to the second post, which is a now-dated, but still chuckleworthy, parody of "The Raven," called "The Donkey."

digg this
posted by Ace at 03:47 PM

| Access Comments

Recent Comments
Auspex: "377 Hey...why does no one ever float Jill Biden's ..."

gnats local 678: "if this is true she's gonna make next summer's dem ..."

jim (in Kalifornia) [/b] [/s] [/i] [/u]: "433 Actually....California judge's CAN make contri ..."

Piper: "Speaking of weird wives, what happened to the Mrs. ..."

lost in space: "Speaking of the Fani case - what is going on with ..."

jim (in Kalifornia) [/b] [/s] [/i] [/u]: "430 OK, gun thread. I just saw a revolver on TV wi ..."

The Central Scrutinizer: "435 Revenge...for what? Posted by: Lady in Blac ..."

Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come: "[i]She teaches in Virginia Community College[/i] ..."

Kindltot: "[i]OK, gun thread. I just saw a revolver on TV wit ..."

Seems Legit: "It's a white judge as I recall. Wimpy looking. ..."

Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea, Radioactive Knight: "IRL, do suppressors work on revolvers? Posted by: ..."

Skip: "I still think he won't be in September 2024 ..."

Recent Entries

Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64