Don't Worry About Iranian Nukes; You'll Probably Get Morgellons Disease Anyway

More fun, happy news. Yayyyy.

If diseases like AIDS and bird flu scare you, wait until you hear what's next. Doctors are trying to find out what is causing a bizarre and mysterious infection that's surfaced in South Texas.

Morgellons disease is not yet known to kill, but if you were to get it, you might wish you were dead, as the symptoms are horrible.

"These people will have like beads of sweat but it's black, black and tarry," said Ginger Savely, a nurse practioner in Austin who treats a majority of these patients.

Patients get lesions that never heal.

"Sometimes little black specks that come out of the lesions and sometimes little fibers," said Stephanie Bailey, Morgellons patient.

Patients say that's the worst symptom — strange fibers that pop out of your skin in different colors.

"He'd have attacks and fibers would come out of his hands and fingers, white, black and sometimes red. Very, very painful," said Lisa Wilson, whose son Travis had Morgellon's disease.

While all of this is going on, it feels like bugs are crawling under your skin. So far more than 100 cases of Morgellons disease have been reported in South Texas.

"It really has the makings of a horror movie in every way," Savely said.

While Savely sees this as a legitimate disease, there are many doctors who simply refuse to acknowledge it exists, because of the bizarre symptoms patients are diagnosed as delusional.

"Believe me, if I just randomly saw one of these patients in my office, I would think they were crazy too," Savely said. "But after you've heard the story of over 100 (patients) and they're all — down to the most minute detail — saying the exact same thing, that becomes quite impressive."

On one hand, the world seems to be getting crueler, deadlier, and weirder.

On the other hand, it's giving me great ideas for that Call of Cthulhu game I've been meaning to get going since ninth grade.

More News You Can Use In An RPG: Hepetologists stop looking for herpes and instead hunt for 18-foot-long python.

Alas, they found nothing but large snake stools. Trying to salvage something of their big giant waste of time, they insist that the stools smelled "fresh," so they know they were right on the snake's enormous tail.

Why is someone reporting a story where people looked for a big snake but didn't find one? Oh, well. Still-- it mentions a giant python. A story with a mention of an (unseen) giant python is still better than most stories, that don't mention giant pythons at all.

Thanks to Darwin's Moustache, which is believed to be smaller, more agile descendant of the giant carnivorous John Bolton's Moustache.

posted by Ace at 02:49 PM

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