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April 06, 2006

Snakes On A Plane Update

A commenter says that that poster isn't real, although it's in such wide internet circulation it's become the movie's unofficial official poster.

Which means it's also, yes, old.

Francis the Great of Geek Empire assures me this film is real. As his evidence, he offers this "trailer" for this alleged "movie" Snakes on a Plane.

I'm still not convinced. Okay, it's not just a mere hoax. It could still be a very elaborate and costly hoax, one with actors hired for three days to film a "trailer" for a film that cannot possibly exist.

I'm sorry, but I find it more plausible to believe there's a giant conspiracy afoot to get me to believe in the possibility of a film called "Snakes On A Plane" than to accept there really is a film called "Snakes On A Plane."

Until I'm in the theater watching it -- and it lasts longer than five minutes before Ashton Kutcher shows up as Special Agent Hooker to announce to the camera, "You've all been punk'd!" -- I am still going with the "enormous conspiracy of lies" theory.

There cannot be a movie like this. Like the bizarre city of R'yleh, its cyclopean towers angled and twisted at strange geometries in the ocean's deepest glooms, the notion of a film called "Snakes On A Plane" offends the very laws of the orderly universe we've come to believe in.

I have it on good authority that watching this film, if it actually exists, like watching the suppressed transdimensional demonic play The King In Yellow, will cause the viewer to become murderously insane and possibly physically separate from this reality entirely.

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posted by Ace at 04:22 PM

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