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February 22, 2006

FAQ: What If Chris Klein Had Been Born A Jackass Italian Baron?

Well, you'd have this douche.

Italian Baron Cody Franchetti walks around Manhattan dropping quotes like this:


• “I am an elitist. I believe in an elite, I believe that people want an elite … because there’s always been one, whether it be an oligarchy or a dictatorship.”

• “I’m reading a book and I’m thinking about a pussy, but I find when I get the pussy, I’m thinking about the book.”

Cody, your monthly statement about your trust-fund management is not, technically, "a book."

• On Lisa Loeb: “She is very—how should I put it?—petit bourgeois.”

Cody Franchetti is -- how you say? -- only a fucking Baron. This is, how should I put it, the petit nobility, non?

Baron. Big deal. The guy who trims my hedges is a baron from Oxaca.


• On pursuing his own reality show: “Yes, absolutely, [it’s] cheap, trashy—I’m well aware of that. But we live in the age of Paris Hilton, my dear, so what am I going to do—a show where I discuss Flaubert with people that call in? No, I don’t think so.”

Just because you can name Flaubert is not evidence you've actually read him.

• He would [like] to be “hated correctly.”

Well, halfway there, champ!

Hmmmm...

Compare:

“I’m reading a book and I’m thinking about a pussy, but I find when I get the pussy, I’m thinking about the book.”

with:

I can't say I'm precisely shocked to learn that when he's "get[ting] pussy" he's actually thinking about Flaubert.

Just sayin'.

Not that there's anything wrong with it.

Belated Credit: Via Ari Goes Down, who apparently sat down at a poker table with this, erm, dude.


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posted by Ace at 08:37 PM

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