Update On Jonathan "The Impaler" Sharkey: Arrested On Old Stalking Warrants

"The Impaler"? Stalking? The Deuce you say!

Jonathon “The Impaler� Sharkey, who announced in Princeton Jan. 13 that he was running for governor, was arrested at his Princeton apartment about 8:30 Monday evening.

Princeton officer Todd Frederick initiated a search yesterday afternoon that led to the discovery of two active felony warrants from... Indiana.

The 2005 warrants were issued in May for stalking and in September for escape on a $100,000 bond.

Just because you're hiding in the bushes, going through someone's trash, and collecting toe-nail clippings and discarded bandages doesn't mean you're "stalking."

Followers of the Dark Lord of Blood know that these steps are necessary to construct a voodoo doll.

The authorities call it "stalking." I call it "Magikal Path courting."

"You will love me, or I will bathe in
your blood before the Children of Babylon!
How's the Olive Garden at eight-ish sound?"

The old "The Impaler" post, if you missed it.

More Geek Jokes: Brain B--

So he failed his Move Silently and Hide in Shadow rolls?

Critical miss resulting in... let me look this up on my tables and matrices... loss of 4 Wisdom points and a booking on a Class C Felony. Ooooh! That's going to leave a mark!

Cleric! I need a Restoration spell! And a Reduce Bail spell!

Thanks to DeeGoGa.

posted by Ace at 12:27 PM

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