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January 06, 2006

Real Cowboy Doesn't Like Brokeback Mountain

I imposed a partial moratorium on myself for BBM stuff -- too much heat from you retards -- but this (from the A-Man) is worth it:

JIM-BOB ZIMMERSCHIED is not a happy cowboy. "They've gone and killed John Wayne with this movie," he says angrily, beer in hand. "I've been doing this job all my life and I ain't never met no gay cowboy. It wouldn't be right."


The "gay cowboy flick", as it has been dubbed in America...

They always say that-- "the gay cowboy flick, as it has been dubbed" or "the so-called 'gay cowboy movie.'" Is that not accurate? What the hell else would you call it, if not that? "The movie about two guys tending sheep"?

Personally, I call it "the Gay Slingblade," because Heath Ledger's idea of an American Western accent is just to mimic Billy Bob Thorton's retarded character in Slingblade, down to the laconic lockjaw and strange grumbling noises. Rrrrmrr-hrrrmm, yeah-up, I'm a-fixin' to stick this here "stinkblade" into your secret nethers, rmmmrhm-hrrrm, hrrm-hrrrmm.


American critics have enthused about the film, but the subject matter has earned condemnation from the religious right - and caused considerable distress in rural Wyoming, bastion of the cowboy culture of unadulterated machismo.


Flushed by Bud Lite, Mr Zimmerschied, a squat walrus-moustachioed man in a hat and check shirt, was in full flow. "John Wayne and Will Rogers, they made real cowboy movies. They portrayed us like we are. There ain't no queer in cowboy and I don't care for anyone suggesting there is."


While the patrons in the Mint Bar may be convinced that they have never met a homosexual cowboy, the popularity of the gay rodeo circuit in America is proof that they exist. "I was born gay and I was born a cowboy," said Mike Yocum, a rodeo enthusiast from Oklahoma. "I grew up in a saddle. It's horseshit to say there's no such thing as a gay cowboy, but it's a very touchy subject."

Meanwhile, Mr Zimmerschied offered a suggestion for another film about same-sex romance on the range. "A movie about two women would be different," he said. "I wouldn't mind that at all."

No I wouldn't mind that much myself, hrrmmrhm-rrrmh, hrrrm-hrrrm.

They buried the lede. There's a "gay rodeo circuit"? For real? Or is that, like, a euphemism?

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posted by Ace at 02:17 PM

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