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December 02, 2005

Secret Settlement In Koko-the-Gorilla Groping Case

Yeah, so, Koko the talking gorilla turned out to have a "nipple fetish," and her female caretakers were encouraged to show her their breasts.

They sued, claiming sexual harassment by a lesbian gorilla.

The case has been settled but the terms are confidential.

The lawsuit, seeking more than $1 million in damages, focused fresh attention on Koko, already well known for her purported American Sign Language vocabulary of more than 1,000 words.

Turns out 600 of those words were just synonyms for hooters, like "chesticles," "Mommy sacs," and "sweater stretchers."

"We all want to get this behind us and move on with our lives," said Stephen Sommers, representing the plaintiffs.

I find this statement amusing for some reason.

"This is the first time and hopefully the last time the Gorilla Foundation will have to deal with anything of this type," said the nonprofit's attorney, Todd Roberts.

I doubt it. The rate of recidivism among nipple-obsessed bi-curious sign-language-speaking knocker-kongs is distressingly high.

A separate suit has not yet been settled.

It alleges that she was forced to display her breasts to the lowland gorilla seven or eight times to cater to Koko's obsession with nipples.

Again, it's just so unlikely I'll have the chance to quote a similar sentence I have to do so again.

Thanks to Old Coot.

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posted by Ace at 01:17 PM

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