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November 25, 2005

Braggin' Bill Richardson

Did you ever start bragging, maybe expand the truth a little about your abilities, your net worth? You know, maybe tell the guys, some chick, that you played pro-ball or something like that?

And did you ever get completely and totally busted on it?

Gov. Bill Richardson is coming clean on his draft record _ the baseball draft, that is, admitting that his claim to have been a pick of the Kansas City A's in 1966 was untrue.

For nearly four decades, Richardson, often mentioned as a possible Democratic presidential candidate, has maintained he was drafted by the Kansas City Athletics.

The claim was included in a brief biography released when Richardson successfully ran for Congress in 1982. A White House news release in 1997 mentioned it when he was about to be named U.S. ambassador to the United Nations. And several news organizations, including The Associated Press, have reported it as fact over the years.

But an investigation by the Albuquerque Journal found no record of Richardson being drafted by the A's, who have since moved to Oakland, or any other team.
Informed by the newspaper of its findings, the governor acknowledged the error in a story in Thursday's editions.

"After being notified of the situation and after researching the matter ... I came to the conclusion that I was not drafted by the A's," he said.

Glad the research cleared that up.

And in that forthcoming spirit, I need to inform you that some of my statements about myself may have created a misunderstanding or two in the minds of readers of this site.

As a result of my research, I have come to the conclusion that I am NOT, in fact, married to Monica Bellucci.

I'm sorry my previous, mistaken statements created this impression.

Furthermore, I am to understand, we have not been living together on a private estate in Northwestern Italy either.

What I mistook, perhaps carelessly, for a small Tuscan villa, research now leads me to believe is, almost certainly, my mother’s basement. And records reveal my companion there is not Ms. Bellucci, but, in fact, my brother Lloyd.

Furthermore, my restored Camero does not, in fact, reach speed of up to “three hundred miles per hour.” My research reveals my prior claims were likely the result of a faultily constructed after-market speedometer. The instrument has been removed and its manufacturers have been notified of the hazard. (The Camaro’s overall ‘sweetness’, however, remains unaffected by these developments.)

Thank you. I apologize to readers for the confusion.


digg this
posted by Dr. Reo Symes at 01:34 AM

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