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November 19, 2005
Johnny Depp: You Know, Maybe America Isn't So Bad
He fled our country due to the mythical crushing of dissent here, and our alleged puritanism. Granted, we take a dim view of men who publicly masturbate on our subways while eyefucking a lone, frightened female passenger, and sure, we're not as enlightened as the Europeans when it comes to the "pause that refreshes" on public transportation, but it can't be that Johnny Depp is that hard up to need such indulgences.
Hell, he's had at least one successful project since 21 Jump Street. One hit in 20+ years... not too shabby.
But now France is all chaotic and stuff and he wants to come home.
At least we won't have to hear him whining about how violent America is, or how we're such bastards about our racial inequalities.