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August 29, 2005

Subway Flasher ID'd?

Okay, for legal reasons, and for truthful reasons, I'll just say that the guy that the NY Daily News is suggesting might be the caught-on-camera subway onanist doesn't really look all that much like the owner of this New York restaurant.

Compare this pic to the this pic of the perv. Kinda sorta similar, but the perv seems to have more weight on his face. And also, that blissed-out sleepy sorta look. Not sure why.

Turns out one of the restaurants owned by the guy is located in a neighborhood I spend a lot of time in.

In the previous post on this, Scott noted in the comments...

Lowered expectations?

[From the witness' statement:] "I saw him massaging himself and then he unzipped and pulled it out. I thought, 'I can't believe he's doing this in the middle of the day!' "

No Pocket Pool Before 9:00 PM!

I love New York!

Good stuff. "I can't believe he's doing this in the middle of the day."

Well, as people who drink before 5pm sometimes say, "It has to be the right time to publicly masturbate somewhere in the world!"

From WC Varones, via Karol, who's happy her meat-eating boyfriend kept her out of the vegetarian Quintessence joint.

Top Ten Excuses For Being Photographed While Masturbating On A Subway

10. Come on, didn't you ever see Risky Business?

9. I swear, officer, my penis told me it was 18 years old.

8. Did you see the way that subway car was dressed? It was asking for it. I'm just a man, after all.

7. First we can't smoke in bars, and now this?! Great! Welcome to Berlin on the Hudson! Sieg Heil!

6. It wasn't masturbating, it was practicing. I'm just getting ready make up a new batch of chipolte hand rolls.

5. I'm sorry, I didn't know that was frowned upon. Do you have a special car where it's allowed...? I know they do on San Fransisco's BART.

4. Ever have that not-so-fresh feeling? Sometimes you've got to air that bad boy out.

3. I was just checking for ticks. It's Lyme season, you know.

2. It's a protest against the Iraq War. I call my penis "Cock Casey."

...and the Number One Excuse For Being Photographed While Masturbating On A Subway...

1. Oh, and where do you do it? Your bathroom? Well, pardon the hell out of me for not being a toilet-freak, sickie.

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posted by Ace at 06:18 PM

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