14-Year-Old Palestinian Boy Caught At Checkpoint With Shrapnel-Explosive Bombs | Main | Breaking News: Starbucks Is A Liberal Corporation
August 29, 2005

Subway Flasher ID'd?

Okay, for legal reasons, and for truthful reasons, I'll just say that the guy that the NY Daily News is suggesting might be the caught-on-camera subway onanist doesn't really look all that much like the owner of this New York restaurant.

Compare this pic to the this pic of the perv. Kinda sorta similar, but the perv seems to have more weight on his face. And also, that blissed-out sleepy sorta look. Not sure why.

Turns out one of the restaurants owned by the guy is located in a neighborhood I spend a lot of time in.

In the previous post on this, Scott noted in the comments...

Lowered expectations?

[From the witness' statement:] "I saw him massaging himself and then he unzipped and pulled it out. I thought, 'I can't believe he's doing this in the middle of the day!' "

No Pocket Pool Before 9:00 PM!

I love New York!

Good stuff. "I can't believe he's doing this in the middle of the day."

Well, as people who drink before 5pm sometimes say, "It has to be the right time to publicly masturbate somewhere in the world!"


From WC Varones, via Karol, who's happy her meat-eating boyfriend kept her out of the vegetarian Quintessence joint.


Top Ten Excuses For Being Photographed While Masturbating On A Subway

10. Come on, didn't you ever see Risky Business?

9. I swear, officer, my penis told me it was 18 years old.

8. Did you see the way that subway car was dressed? It was asking for it. I'm just a man, after all.

7. First we can't smoke in bars, and now this?! Great! Welcome to Berlin on the Hudson! Sieg Heil!

6. It wasn't masturbating, it was practicing. I'm just getting ready make up a new batch of chipolte hand rolls.

5. I'm sorry, I didn't know that was frowned upon. Do you have a special car where it's allowed...? I know they do on San Fransisco's BART.

4. Ever have that not-so-fresh feeling? Sometimes you've got to air that bad boy out.

3. I was just checking for ticks. It's Lyme season, you know.

2. It's a protest against the Iraq War. I call my penis "Cock Casey."

...and the Number One Excuse For Being Photographed While Masturbating On A Subway...

1. Oh, and where do you do it? Your bathroom? Well, pardon the hell out of me for not being a toilet-freak, sickie.

digg this
posted by Ace at 06:18 PM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
CrotchetyOldJarhead: "I suspect the Meagain and the 12 angry harlots int ..."

tdatsd: "woohoo top ten ..."

freaked: " Here we go. The vindictive bitch Meagain is tryin ..."

Nevergiveup: " Usually my President has at least one tweet poste ..."

Duke Lowell : "Monday. Ugh. ..."

wing: "Mornin Horde Happy Monday ..."

Bruce: "JJ is woke. Nood! ..."

freaked: "The press conference is being hosted by an org cal ..."

Vic We Have No Party: "Good Morning Morons ..."

Bruce: "Chicago season of giving still going on. 5 dead 13 ..."

Bruce: "Well, I'm disappointed. Usually my President has a ..."

K. Spacey [/i]: " Sexual allegations against Trump? He just needs ..."

Recent Entries
Search


MuNuvians
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
News/Chat
Archives
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64