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September 01, 2005

Good Bye To Ty

Okay, this is a rant from a recovering reality tv whore and longtime INXS fan. Skip this if you don't watch the show.


So, Ty finally got eliminated, as he should have been eliminated at least two weeks ago. They only kept him around, I'm pretty sure, because he was both black and gay, and not adverse to playing the black/gay card. I think he was sincere about it -- I think he didn't realize he was "playing" a card at all -- but he simply blamed every set back on the American public's dislike of his skin color. Or his sexual preference. Well, he didn't mention the latter, but that was a lot more obvious than the former.

Yeah, he was black. I guess you noticed that. But he was really, really, really gay. SUPRAGAY, in fact.

It was the gay thing more than the black thing that held him back from winning the contest to be INXS' new lead singer. But more importantly-- he wasn't a good rock and roll singer.

On the black thing-- I just don't believe that America, or INXS, would mind a black singer. It might even give them a bit of needed cache.

On the gay thing -- look, there are Rupert Everett gays who are quite attractive to women. Even Alan Cummings, I'm guessing, is attractive to women, although he seems pretty queeny. Still, I'm guessing, women dig him.

Ty wasn't one of those kind of gays. He wasn't really very attractive, he was constantly crying like a little girl, and I can't think many women viewed him as some sort of "conversion" sexual challenge as they might think of Rupert Everett. Rupert Everett is a challenge; Ty would have been scaling Mount Everest without oxygen after running an Ironman triathalon.

I'm sorry, but if you're fronting a pop band that appeals to a lot of chicks, you sort of want someone chicks are going to have a crush on.

But forget about that. The real problem with this guy is that he was not a rock and roll singer, let alone a rock and roll frontman or star, in any way, shape, or form. He was okay with soulful and reggae songs; but, in case he hadn't noticed, INXS is not really a soul, reggae, or R&B band. They're a rock band with a lot of dance-pop influence.

And the guy was way too Broadway. Having him front INXS would have been like having Ethel Murmann front AC/DC.

On American Idol, Simon is always saying that singers are "too caberet" or "too musical theater." In Ty's case, he was "too understudy to Pontius Pilate in an all-gay production of Godspell."

A little example: One week he was asked to sing Proud Mary. He could have done the Creedence Clearwater Revival ROCK version of the song. No, instead, he does the R&B/Vegas-show-extravaganza Tina Turner version of it.

There's a certain sensibility and set of conventions which go with rock singing, and Ty didn't have any of that. He kept talking about how great his performances were, and yeah, he had a good voice, but rock singers can't necessarily sing show tunes and Broadway musical singers can't necessarily sing rock.

Tonight, to save his skin, he had to sing INXS' first big hit (as far as I know, though some say there was an earlier lesser hit), (It's The) One Thing. He blew the lyrics-- and not just the lyrics, but the MAIN repeated lyrics in the chorus. Rather than singing, correctly "It's the one thing/you are my thing," he sang "It's the one thing/your are my one thing." A small difference, but when you're trying out to be the frontman of a big band, it's probably best to know the f'n' CHORUS of one of their biggest, earliest hits.

Anyway, the guy should have booted from the show weeks ago; Deanna, a husky-voiced classic-rock power singer, also wasn't right for INXS' sound, but at least she was singing some form of rock. Instead, they kept Ty, because they didn't want to be seen as anti-black or anti-gay.

Well, he finally got kicked off the show, and yes, on national TV, he accused the American public, and maybe INXS, of being anti-black (and maybe anti-gay, too; he was sort of vague). He whined again how he wasn't getting the respect he should get based upon his amazing talent (PS, he wasn't so amazing), and he said he knew exactly why he kept being voted into the bottom three. By which he meant-- you hate me because I'm black.

This guy is a whiny crybaby asshole. There were sixteen or so contestants on the show; obviously, fifteen of them are going to lose, for one reason or another. But this guy could not imagine any other possible reason for not winning other than the fact that America hates gay black men.

Were the women booted because America hates women? Certainly there must be a bias against having a woman as lead singer of INXS. The women have more right to complain about bias than Ty.

Maybe they just figured he was better suited to singing torch-songs. Which he definitely would be. But of course that didn't occur to him.

There are some genuinely talented people on the show, and I'm sure several of them will end up fronting rock bands. Ty won't be one of them, because he's just not a rock singer. He might do well in local musical theater, but who the hell wants to see a rock band fronted by a guy who's perpetually on the verge of tears and who thinks that Tina Turner is a rock icon worthy of emulating?

What About Freddy Mercury? Eh, what about him? I'm sure he didn't pull in sixteen year old female fans, either. His weird look and gay-bar style of dress weren't a plus. He got by on little things, like a tremendous voice and great songwriting.

I know Freddy Mercury. Freddy Mercury was a friend of mine. And Ty, you are no Freddy Mercury.

Maybe if you write a Bohemian Rhapsody (or even a Fat Bottomed Girls) we can talk about how oppressed you are.

What About Cindy Sheehan? Glad you asked. She's not really cut out to front INXS, either, and Dave and Gary Garry and Co. explain why.

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posted by Ace at 12:58 AM

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