Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
Support


Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!


Contact
Ace:
aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com
Buck:
buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com
CBD:
cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com
joe mannix:
mannix2024 at proton.me
MisHum:
petmorons at gee mail.com
J.J. Sefton:
sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com


Recent Entries
Absent Friends
Bandersnatch 2024
GnuBreed 2024
Captain Hate 2023
moon_over_vermont 2023
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021
Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups






















« George W. Bush: Anti-Christ, Superstar | Main | Air Enron's Randi Rhodes: Bush Delights In Deaths Of Democrats »
September 01, 2005

Good Bye To Ty

Okay, this is a rant from a recovering reality tv whore and longtime INXS fan. Skip this if you don't watch the show.


So, Ty finally got eliminated, as he should have been eliminated at least two weeks ago. They only kept him around, I'm pretty sure, because he was both black and gay, and not adverse to playing the black/gay card. I think he was sincere about it -- I think he didn't realize he was "playing" a card at all -- but he simply blamed every set back on the American public's dislike of his skin color. Or his sexual preference. Well, he didn't mention the latter, but that was a lot more obvious than the former.

Yeah, he was black. I guess you noticed that. But he was really, really, really gay. SUPRAGAY, in fact.

It was the gay thing more than the black thing that held him back from winning the contest to be INXS' new lead singer. But more importantly-- he wasn't a good rock and roll singer.

On the black thing-- I just don't believe that America, or INXS, would mind a black singer. It might even give them a bit of needed cache.

On the gay thing -- look, there are Rupert Everett gays who are quite attractive to women. Even Alan Cummings, I'm guessing, is attractive to women, although he seems pretty queeny. Still, I'm guessing, women dig him.

Ty wasn't one of those kind of gays. He wasn't really very attractive, he was constantly crying like a little girl, and I can't think many women viewed him as some sort of "conversion" sexual challenge as they might think of Rupert Everett. Rupert Everett is a challenge; Ty would have been scaling Mount Everest without oxygen after running an Ironman triathalon.

I'm sorry, but if you're fronting a pop band that appeals to a lot of chicks, you sort of want someone chicks are going to have a crush on.

But forget about that. The real problem with this guy is that he was not a rock and roll singer, let alone a rock and roll frontman or star, in any way, shape, or form. He was okay with soulful and reggae songs; but, in case he hadn't noticed, INXS is not really a soul, reggae, or R&B band. They're a rock band with a lot of dance-pop influence.

And the guy was way too Broadway. Having him front INXS would have been like having Ethel Murmann front AC/DC.

On American Idol, Simon is always saying that singers are "too caberet" or "too musical theater." In Ty's case, he was "too understudy to Pontius Pilate in an all-gay production of Godspell."

A little example: One week he was asked to sing Proud Mary. He could have done the Creedence Clearwater Revival ROCK version of the song. No, instead, he does the R&B/Vegas-show-extravaganza Tina Turner version of it.

There's a certain sensibility and set of conventions which go with rock singing, and Ty didn't have any of that. He kept talking about how great his performances were, and yeah, he had a good voice, but rock singers can't necessarily sing show tunes and Broadway musical singers can't necessarily sing rock.

Tonight, to save his skin, he had to sing INXS' first big hit (as far as I know, though some say there was an earlier lesser hit), (It's The) One Thing. He blew the lyrics-- and not just the lyrics, but the MAIN repeated lyrics in the chorus. Rather than singing, correctly "It's the one thing/you are my thing," he sang "It's the one thing/your are my one thing." A small difference, but when you're trying out to be the frontman of a big band, it's probably best to know the f'n' CHORUS of one of their biggest, earliest hits.

Anyway, the guy should have booted from the show weeks ago; Deanna, a husky-voiced classic-rock power singer, also wasn't right for INXS' sound, but at least she was singing some form of rock. Instead, they kept Ty, because they didn't want to be seen as anti-black or anti-gay.

Well, he finally got kicked off the show, and yes, on national TV, he accused the American public, and maybe INXS, of being anti-black (and maybe anti-gay, too; he was sort of vague). He whined again how he wasn't getting the respect he should get based upon his amazing talent (PS, he wasn't so amazing), and he said he knew exactly why he kept being voted into the bottom three. By which he meant-- you hate me because I'm black.

This guy is a whiny crybaby asshole. There were sixteen or so contestants on the show; obviously, fifteen of them are going to lose, for one reason or another. But this guy could not imagine any other possible reason for not winning other than the fact that America hates gay black men.

Were the women booted because America hates women? Certainly there must be a bias against having a woman as lead singer of INXS. The women have more right to complain about bias than Ty.

Maybe they just figured he was better suited to singing torch-songs. Which he definitely would be. But of course that didn't occur to him.

There are some genuinely talented people on the show, and I'm sure several of them will end up fronting rock bands. Ty won't be one of them, because he's just not a rock singer. He might do well in local musical theater, but who the hell wants to see a rock band fronted by a guy who's perpetually on the verge of tears and who thinks that Tina Turner is a rock icon worthy of emulating?

What About Freddy Mercury? Eh, what about him? I'm sure he didn't pull in sixteen year old female fans, either. His weird look and gay-bar style of dress weren't a plus. He got by on little things, like a tremendous voice and great songwriting.

I know Freddy Mercury. Freddy Mercury was a friend of mine. And Ty, you are no Freddy Mercury.

Maybe if you write a Bohemian Rhapsody (or even a Fat Bottomed Girls) we can talk about how oppressed you are.

What About Cindy Sheehan? Glad you asked. She's not really cut out to front INXS, either, and Dave and Gary Garry and Co. explain why.

digg this
posted by Ace at 12:58 AM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
Seems Legit: "How odd, I thought everyone understood that electr ..."

rickb223 Gold & Silver Spot Prices [s][/b][/i][/u]: "You’d think they would’ve come up with ..."

Commissar of Plenty and Lysenkoism in Solidarity with the Struggle : "MiG-29 has two sets of intakes Bonus hole. ..."

It's me donna : "270 242 To be fair, Elon did advise that there isn ..."

West Frisian Women's Auxiliary : "The red head gene mutation also enables them to dr ..."

eleven: "If there wasn't a steel re-enforced concrete wall ..."

SMOD: "DC_Draino @DC_Draino Think about this If Tr ..."

Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden: "[i]thus, his push to ship congolese lithium mining ..."

garrett: "What is the increased Mass of an Electric School B ..."

Thomas Paine: "242 To be fair, Elon did advise that there isn't e ..."

Skip : "Bet they won't get 10 years of use out of a EV Bus ..."

Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden: "[i]They handle 25% more pain than others, and repo ..."

Recent Entries
Search


Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64