Robert "Nightrider" Byrd: Silent on Filibusters over Anti-Lynching Laws | Main | President Bush Shares Intimate Dinner With Porn Star!
June 14, 2005

Andrew Sullivan, Hysterical Twat

Kausfiles continues to monitor Excitable Andy's rollercoaster mood-swings so you don't have to.

Criminy. I don't think I've dated chicks who veered between euphoria and melancholy as often (and as severely) as Excitable Andy, and they've got the excuse of, you know, menses.

As I'm just getting back to blogging again, and I've got nothin' anyway, I may have to do another one of my full-day Andrew Sullivan spoofs. This one emphasizing his "I'm vindicated! Success!/All is lost! We're doomed!" style of estrogen-charged commentary.

I've got nothing against Sullivan's homosexuality. I swear it. If I had a taste for man-pooter, I'd be the most promiscuously gay sonofabitch you ever saw.

But honestly, is it wise to combat the gay=femme stereotype by just turning it up to 11?

I know a lot of gay guys. By "a lot," I mean, like, four. And they don't seem to be forever going to pieces like Andy does.

Andy, I mean this in the most respectful way: Butch up. Please. You're embarassing your fellow gay men. They'd like to project an air of confident, if homosexually-directed, masculinity, not the scatterbrained frenzy of Lucy trying to keep up with the candy conveyer-belt.

You know how gays say that there's a little gay in every one? Well, every time Andrew flies off the handle, the little gay dude inside of me says, "Great Kylie Minogue! I don't know how I'll show my face at Restoration Hardware ever again."

Women are allowed to be inconstant. It's what we love about them. (Well, not really, but we tolerate it.) Men are supposed to be, well, kind of even-keeled, even to the point of stupid stubborness.

Just... I don't know. Calm the f' down. Have a cream soda. Do some fucking thing.


digg this
posted by Ace at 07:43 PM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
Moron Robbie - Did you know the kids vaccine formula wasn't tested at all? [/b] [/s] [/i]: "That said, kids can absolutely get sick from the v ..."

Joe Mannix (Not a cop!): "Every single day, this light-eyed and dark-haired ..."

Joe XiDen - Delta Delta Delta Can I help ya help ya help ya Variant: "**DOCTOR** Jill has an advanced degree in Educatio ..."

Archer: "Faustus was a teacher. And we all know what happe ..."

Lady in Black[/i][/b][/u]: "It's a shame for a movie buff to admit it . . . bu ..."

rickb223 [/s][/b][/i][/u]: "My wife got me an AR-15 with chainsaw attachment. ..."

Wolfus Aurelius [/i] [/b]: "[i]Why the fuck is there a class in "contemporary ..."

Sponge - Saying Ashli Babbitt: "[i] Dude, you disappoint me in so many ways. Pos ..."

Soothsayer -- : " Youtuber "New York Nadia" denied access to the f ..."

Commissar of Plenty and Lysenko gender fluid: "It was also in the LAUSD where the teacher frosted ..."

Moron Robbie - Did you know the kids vaccine formula wasn't tested at all? [/b] [/s] [/i]: "Kunt actually makes a point, however completely mi ..."

SMOD: "More than 40 camels were booted from a Saudi Arabi ..."

Recent Entries
Search


Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64