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May 18, 2005

FLASH: CNN Discovers Genuine Terrorist!

Will wonders never cease! CNN has finally discovered a bona fide, gen-u-ine terrorist. Not a "militant," not an "insurgent," not a "rebel." A terrorist! And it says so right there in the headline.

The catch, of course, is that this terrorist conducted his terrorism against a country CNN's editors actually love and admire -- Cuba.

He is alleged to have killed 73 people, most of whom his fellow countrymen, when he blew up a Cuban airliner in 1976.

But the Iraqi "insurgents" who blow up their fellow countrymen on a daily basis will, per the CNN stylebook, continue to be spared the tendentious label "terrorist," as that word could imply that CNN is taking sides.

Or, rather-- of course CNN is taking sides all the time; but labeling Iraqi murderers terrorist would mean that CNN is taking the wrong side, i.e., America's.

Thanks to Andy the Squirrel.

Note: The article uses the word "Terrorist" in the headline as of 8:11 am. But Andy says the homepage used the word "terrorist," too, before getting changed to "militant."

So if later on CNN edits "terrorist" into "militant." well, that may be loose shit, but not on the part of myself or Andy.

PS: Andy the Squirrel wants to know why I call him that. Well, because there's another Andrew here, and since he had that brilliant roses are red/violets are blue put-down, I figure he's entitled to just be called "Andrew."

"Andy the Squirrel" is just a character in the children's book written by Chevy Chase's wife in the funny and quite-underrated Funny Farm.


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posted by Ace at 08:38 AM

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