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May 04, 2005

Pat O'Brien: A True American Hero

The hell with Jeff Gannon. Now here's a guy who swings, baby.

Tells CNN: "I was out of control."

Shut up, really?

Tells Dr. Phil all sorts of nonsense:

Here is an excerpt: "I want to (bleep) go crazy with you. I want to talk dirty to you...get another woman up...Let's get crazy, get some coke."

Quizzed by ["Dr. Phil"] McGraw, O'Brien says that is not him, but admits it is his voice.

"What was going through your mind that said this is OK, I'm going to do this not once, not twice, but 7 or 8 times?" Dr. Phil asks him.

I'll have to use that one. Next time I'm in Dutch with the law, I'll just say "It wasn't me. I mean, it was me, but it wasn't me. Sort of like in a dream. You know?"

Actually, come to think of it, that defense works.

Dr. Phil wonders:

"Will celebrities, certainly women, who are so offended by the nature of some of the things that came into the public light, will they talk to him? How's he going to feel with that? All of those things I think are huge challenges that create stress, and it's that's kind of stress that makes you want to go back to the drinking and the drugs."

The sad part of all this was that if he was any good at the dirty talk, and could come up with anything better than bullet-points about which part of the body he wanted to "eat" first, second, third, etc., he'd probably be getting all the damn interviews he wanted. Chicks love "bad boys."

They don't like creepy phone-message Jamie-Gumb-by-way-of-Forrest-Gump type characters, though. Believe me, I know.

Thanks to Slublog and Raymond.

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posted by Ace at 11:36 AM

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