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March 07, 2005

Chimp Attack Update: "He Was Trying To Reason With Them"

This is a horrible story, but honestly, anyone who attempts to "reason" with 1) wild rampaging animals or 2) vicious space aliens is just asking for trouble:

A man who was severely mauled by two chimpanzees at an animal sanctuary last week was quickly overwhelmed when the apes attacked, his wife said Monday.
"One was at his head, one was at his foot. But all that time ... he was trying to reason with them," a sobbing LaDonna Davis told ABC's "Good Morning America." "I couldn't do anything."

Eminent primate researcher Dr. David Atlee was asked why "reason" proved futile in calming the chimps. "I would have to view the video to watch for hostility displays and behavioral clues, but at the present moment, my working theory is that attempts to reason with them failed because they're fucking monkeys."

posted by Ace at 05:34 PM

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But all that time ... he was trying to reason with them," a sobbing LaDonna Davis told ABC's "Good Morning America." "I couldn't do anything." Eminent primate researcher Dr. David Atlee was asked why "reason" proved futile in calming the chimps. "I would have to view the video to watch for hostility displays and behavioral clues, but at the present moment, my working theory is that attempts to reason with them failed because they're fucking monkeys." posted by Ace at 05:34 PM \| Access Comments <script language="javascript" src="http://adserver.adtechus.com/addyn/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=700;cookie=info;target=_blank;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]"></script><noscript><a href="http://adserver.adtechus.com/adlink/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=300;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]" target="_blank"><img src="http://adserver.adtechus.com/adserv/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=300;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]" border="0" width="300" height="250"></a></noscript>	Recent Comments pawn (on his new laptop!!!): "So would you rather have him hanging out and messi ..." IRONGRAMPA: "Good morning, good people, from the Frigidrondacks ..." publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb): " Darn, missed the solstice. 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