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I Know Ace, And I'm No Ace »
January 24, 2005
I Require Pie
Hi, my name is Jordan, and I run the UNPOPULIST, the blog that did it with your mom.
On some dangerously misguided whim, Ace has asked me to contribute here while he's away. Note, this request is most explicably the consequence of mistaken identity.
I have decided to comply.
I present for your consideration: Top Ten Reasons the UNPOPULIST Was Chosen to Help Sub at Ace-o-Spades HQ:
10. Margaret Cho wouldn't commit.
9. Margaret Cho is an ugly, lumbering bore.
8. I know Rue McClanahan.
7. I know Max Hardcore.
6. John Ashcroft is using Ace to get to me.
5. James Dobson is using Ace to get to me.
4. Ace is dying.
3. Ace is Rue McClanahan.
2. I am Richard Mulligan.
And the #1 reason the UNPOPULIST asked to sub at HQ:
1. Ace does not read the UNPOPULIST.
Courage, Ace. And good luck.
the UNPOPULIST