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November 07, 2004

Let's Be Honest: The World Press Can Eat Our Shorts

"Bush Victory Infuriates World Press." Cry.

The Guardian sees through its effete British metrosexuality to actually get the message of the election:

"We may not like it. In fact, to tell the truth, we don't like it one bit. But if it isn't a mandate, then the word has no meaning. Mr. Bush has won fair (so far as we can see) and square. He and his country β€” and the rest of the world β€” now have to deal with it."

The Guardian still doesn't get that we don't care what they think.

Let me suggest that Guardian readers rent the funny-but-unsatisfying 1994 comedy Swimming with Sharks. America is Buddy Ackerman; European whining lefties are Guy the Intern.

Buddy: What I am concerned with is detail. I asked you go get me a packet of Sweet-N-Low. You bring me back Equal. That isn't what I asked for. That isn't what I wanted. That isn't what I needed and that shit isn't going to work around here.

Guy: I, I just thought...

Buddy: You thought. Do me a fucking favor. Shut up, listen, and learn. Look, I know that this is your first day and you don't really know how things work around here, so I will tell you. You have no brain. No judgement calls are necessary. What you think means nothing. What you feel means nothing. You are here for me. You are here to protect my interests and to serve my needs. So, while it may look like a little thing to you, when I ask for a packet of Sweet-N-Low, that's what I want. And it's your responsibility to see that I get what I want.

Now get us our Sweet-N-Low, Nigel. Shut up, Listen, Learn.


Thansk to Alarming News, who puts part of the blame for Kerry's defeat at Michael Moore's feet (not that he's seen them since middle-school).

I don't know if that's quite right, but hey, it's fun to say.


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posted by Ace at 04:29 PM

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